


Hopeless Light

by itbloomedforyourlittlegirl



Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, F/M, Original Character(s), Reunions, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9010819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbloomedforyourlittlegirl/pseuds/itbloomedforyourlittlegirl
Summary: The population fell by thousands at a time, and the world was catastrophically engulfed by a sea of raging virus and foaming from the mouth freaks. During the out-break, a mysterious young girl arrives at NCIS in search of Gibbs. Her arrival digs up a haunting past, and her mere existence holds a deeper, sinister truth.





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

  **Hopeless Light**

* * *

 

Gibbs found himself captured in a rare, and eerily placid moment. A heavy contrast to the previous week in which the population fell by thousands at a time, and the world was catastrophically engulfed by a sea of raging virus and foaming from the mouth freaks.

Chorused questions bounced off his ears, a haunting hum around him, and all he heard was a mild ringing. The team, their voices, everything blurred; defocused visions of the lab, his heart hammering against his ribs in slow motion, his blood surging through his body, and his palms sweaty. His mind raced, too fast for him to make coherent sense of, too much information, and action from the past week teasing every corner of his brain, intimidating him.

His heart rate increased. His breathing quickened, and his heart pounded again. Gradually, it became louder until it was a siren, and suddenly became quiet, and pulled back, then snapped into motion as he caught up with his thoughts.

“How many Roamers got in?” Gibbs barked, squinting to better focus on the screen.

Roamers. They title the team had somehow given the people who were no longer themselves; no longer people. The infected. The decomposing, bloody, foaming from the mouth, animated beings that violently attack, scratch, and bite every (and any) living person who crosses their path.

McGee replayed the tape. “A dozen, maybe.”

“I need numbers, McGee. Make sure there are no surprises waiting for us up there.” Gibbs said, whilst checking the bullets in his gun.

“I counted 13 exactly. But boss, the camera was disconnected, leaving that full two minute window for anything, or anyone to wander in.” He gulped, eyes wide with fear.

Gibbs nodded, understanding, and proceeded to bark orders. “Tony, with me, Ziva too. McGee, I want you here with Abby and Ducky. Pull up security camera’s, how’s outside MTAC look?”

“Elevators clear, none on top, or on the stairs, but there are…” McGee trailed off, enhancing the footage.

“What is it?”

“They’ve all grouped up by your desk.”

“I see that, but why?”

“I don’t know, if you look back, everything is in order, then after the camera’s shut off, your desk has been moved, and this filing cabinet right here,” he pointed to it on the screen, “has been moved.”

“Someone’s under there.”

McGee nodded. “That’s the only logically reason they’d be bunched up like that.”

“Okay,” he turned to the others. “We’ll take the elevator up to MTAC, higher ground is better. We can see what’s coming, and what we’re up against.”

Tony and Ziva nodded their agreement, and each loaded their guns. They piled into the elevator and pressed the button up to MTAC, guns and knives at the ready.

Once the doors sprung open, Gibbs edged out onto the upper level, scanning for any signs of danger. When he was sure there was none, they lowered their weapons. Tony grabbed a broken desk chair that was tipped over, and shoved it between the elevator doors, forcing them to stay open.

They looked out over the balcony, papers scattered the floor, like fallen leaves in winter. There was blood splatter and trails on just about every surface, and the lights dimly flickered. The room was only brightened by the sun seeping through the cracks of the barricaded window.

“Boss!” Tony spoke quietly, as to not attract any unwanted attention.

Gibbs squinted, “Yeah, I see it, Tony. Use your knives on the strays, on the group too. Only use your gun if it's necessary. Escape routes are through the stairwell: bang on the door loud, and twice, McGee will let you in. Or, back up these steps, to the elevator, and down to the lab again. Got it?”

“Copy that, boss.”

“Got it,” Ziva nodded.

The few stray Roamers at the bottom of the stairs were taken out easily, the ones wandering the bullpen too, as Tony, Ziva and Gibbs stayed in a triangular formation and closed in, driving their knives into the backs of skulls. They quietly surrounded the group who were snarling, and clawing at Gibbs’ tipped over desk. Tony and Ziva dragged one each from the outer edges of the huddle, finishing them off quickly, whilst Gibbs simultaneously took out two of them, gun in his holster and a knife gripped in each hand. One stumbled behind him, but Ziva interjected quickly, kicking it the floor where Tony finished it with a knife through the temple.

Gibbs nodded his thanks, and crouched down, removing a wooden penknife from the leg of one of the Roamers. He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes as he inspected it further, and then slipped it in his pocket.

“Gibbs.” Ziva whispered, nodding to the muffled whimpering coming from behind his desk.

Gibbs, as a mere precaution, readied his knife, and Tony helped him lift the desk, to reveal a young girl, huddled into the corner, hugging her knees to her chest.

As light flooded over her, she lifted her head to look at the strangers now standing over her. When she looked up, she had a face of someone he might have known, long ago; a familiarity he couldn’t quite pin down. Her eyes were spectacularly unusual: deep pools of ocean blue, with a golden brown halo circling her pupils. Her hair was ash-brown, dishevelled, and on top of her head sit a dirty, and fraying, white, flowery head band. On, and around her nose freckles sat, contrasting against her pale skin. And, despite the terrified expression she was sporting, the single dimple on her right cheek was still noticeable.

“That’s my knife.” Her voice was sweet, yet didn’t lack force.

Gibbs glanced toward the penknife visible from his pocket, “Yours?”

“Yeah. Rule nine: Never go anywhere without a knife.”

Tony’s head snapped round, as did Ziva’s, both baffled at the young girl’s knowledge of Gibbs’ infamous rules.

She started to stand, and Ziva aimed her gun, but the girl put her hands up in surrender as she stood, moving more slowly this time. “Gibbs, right?”

Gibbs looked between Ziva and Tony, before nodding slowly. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Annalise.”

“Where are your parents, Annalise?”

“Gibbs, we have a situation!” Ziva shouted, as if out of nowhere, a group of Roamers flooded into the squad room.

“How many, Ziva!”

“Too many to count Gibbs.”

“Shit.” He whispered through gritted teeth. “Okay, back to the lab, now! We’ll have to take the stairs back down to Abby, we’re too cut off.” He observed, shoving Annalise behind him protectively.

His hand went to his pocket but when he didn’t find the knife he glanced at Annalise, who was in a read-to-fight stance, knife at the ready.

“You know how to use that?”

Annalise gave him a sharp nod, with not a hint of hesitation in her gaze, but the fear was still evident on her tear-stained face.

“Stay behind me.” He ordered.

Somehow, they made their way through the sea of Roamers safely, and Gibbs’ fist was now pounding on the door to the lab for it to be sprung open only seconds later by McGee as the four from outside fled in, and chained the door again.

“Gibbs! Who is this?”

“Gimme a minute, Abs.” Gibbs slowly caught his breath, and used his jeans to clean off his knife.

“Thank you, Gibbs.” Annalise spoke sheepishly, keeping close to him as she eyed the rest of the team.

He glanced at her and bopped his head, “Everyone, this is Annalise.”

“Jethro, where are her parents?”

“That’s just what I asked, Duck, before we were surrounded.” Gibbs turned back toward her, “Your mom, is she a Naval officer, a Lieutenant? That why she send you here?”

She shook her head, “no, she worked in this place, we both lived there. Loads of scientists around, people in white coats like yours,” she gestured to where Abby stood, “but she didn’t tell me anything about it. Always used to say it was boring grown-up stuff.”

“Do ya know why she told ya to come here?”

“She said out of everyone, we can trust Gibbs.”

“I know her?”

“A long time ago.”

“What did you say your name was?” Tony interjected, he had been trying to pin down her familiar face ever since they’d returned to the lab.

“Annalise. Ann, after my grandmother. Annalise Todd.”

“Todd!” Abby shrieked.

Ziva rushed over, “Todd? As in, Caitlin Todd?”

“Yeah, Kate Todd, why?” She blinked innocently.

Gibbs hadn’t spoken, his mouth agape and his eyes glazed over. “Your- Kate, your mum? She’s alive?”

“I don’t know, these people are bad. They used to hurt her… She never told me but I knew they did, I saw the blood, and the bruises, and that’s why we’ve been running. That’s why I know how to use a knife properly, she taught me.” Annalise blinked a few times, an attempt to focus her eyes as her head spun. She smiled gratefully when Abby pushed a chair toward her to sit on, she did.

Gibbs stood up and paced, before clutching his gun and aiming it at Annalise. “What the hell do you want, why are you here?”

Annalise stood on shaky legs, her eyes narrowing as she glared at him down the barrel of the gun. Gibbs didn’t know if it was terrifying or upsetting that Annalise didn’t flinch a muscle, causing him to retreat a little.

“Jethro!” Ducky hissed, coming to stand in front of Annalise, “for heaven's sake, she’s but a child, put the gun away.”

Gibbs lowered his gun and placed it on the table with a loud clang. “Kate’s dead, Duck. She has been for what, 11 years? Her blood was on my shirt! I went to her funeral- we all did! You did her damn autopsy!”

“My mom is not dead,” she pushed passed Ducky and took a few steps toward Gibbs. “She told me to come here. She told me I could trust you, and I don’t want her to die, she’s all I have.” Annalise’s voice cracked.

Gibbs gulped, taking a deep breath to calm himself, “she really alive?”

“Yeah. And if she saw you point that gun at me she’d probably shoot you.” Her smile was somewhat innocent, and yet threatening all the same.

“Well, she’s destined to.” Gibbs grumbled under his breath. “You have a father?”

“No.”

“Where is she?”

“We were running a lot, we never stayed anywhere longer than a night. We were trapped by four men, I’d seen them before, they work with my mom. We ran to this alley but it was a dead-end, she boosted me up, and told me to come here.” She gulped down the newly formed lump in her throat, averting her eyes to the floor as sat back down on the chair and she fiddled with the fraying sleeve on her sweater.

Gibbs squatted down to her level, sympathetically brushing two fingers over her hand. “Did you see what happened after that?”

_Kate tiptoed and tugged on the ladder of the fire-escape. “Come on!” She growled, but despite her efforts, the ladder was jammed. Kate gave up, frantically searching for any other escape route, she didn’t find one. “Ann, I’ll give you a boost, you’re going to have to get there on your own okay?”_

_“Mom, I can’t.” Annalise’s big blue eyes shone, and tears spilled down her cheeks._

_“You can. You are so strong, baby girl.” Kate pulled Annalise close to her chest, and kissed her head. “Don’t worry about me. When you get up there, you run okay? You run, and run, and you don’t stop running until you’re inside NCIS. Find Gibbs, remember, I told you about Gibbs?”_

_“Mom…” Annalise clung to her._

_“Hey,” Kate kneeled down, cupping her tiny cheek in her hand. “You are strong, you are so strong. And Gibbs, he will take care of you, I know he will. I need you to be safe. I need you to get there, Ann, promise me.”_

_“I promise,” Annalise nodded, her face scrunched up as she sobbed._

_Kate used her palms to dry Annalise’s cheeks, ignoring the tears falling down her own, and placed a lilac backpack on Annalise’s shoulders. “Once you’re up there you don’t look back, okay? You keep going. You got your knife?”_

_“Never go anywhere without it.” She gulped proudly, and hugged Kate one last time, “I love you, mom.”_

_Kate gripped her close, and pressed a kiss in her hair. “Oh, Ann, I love you too.” She whirled round when the four men began to close in on them, and she interlocked her fingers, using them as a step to boost Annalise high enough so she could climb onto the fire escape._

_Annalise ran, and didn’t look back._

She frowned, “I don’t know. I didn’t look back. I have to find her.” She began to pant, painful memories tugging on her chest, and welling in her eyes.

“I’ll go.” Tony said.

“No, I will.” McGee argued.

“We all will,” added Ziva.

“No.” Gibbs shook his head, brows furrowed in concentration.

“Fine, I’ll go myself.” Annalise stepped forward toward the door, and almost collapsed, but Gibbs caught her, and sat her down.

“Abby, get her some water. Duck, check her over.” Gibbs crouched down to her again, brushing some hair away from her face. “You are in no state to be going anywhere. You’re most likely dehydrated, and exhausted.”

“I have medicine, it’s in my backpack. I was climbing through a fence when it got caught, I had to shrug it off, there were too many Roamers to get it free.”

“What medicine? We might have some.”

She shook her head, “it’s made for me only, otherwise I have really bad tummy aches, and dizzy, sometimes I throw up, or pass out. I don’t know what it’s called.”

“Where is your backpack?”

“Not far from the alley. But, I can’t just leave my mom out there! She’s more important than that.”

“I didn’t say she wasn’t. Where is this alley, if I’m going to find her, that’ll be the place to start.”

“I can draw you a map, I’m good with stuff like that, I remembered the important signs, and weird looking trees, and rocks.” She rummaged through her pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper, “I wrote them all down.”

Gibbs eyed her, before taking the paper from her and looking at it, and then back up to her. “You’re smart, just like your mom.”

Annalise grinned, and God, if Gibbs squinted his eyes and tilted his head, he’d swear it was Kate sitting there.

“Sorry about the gun.” He whispered, giving her a little peck on her cheek.

“Don’t apologise, it’s a sign of weakness.”

“You know, those are _my_ rules.” Gibbs teased.

She shrugged, “so?”

“So, I can break my own rules.”

She giggled lightly, “it’s okay. You didn’t know you could trust me. It’s a smart precaution.”

Gibbs smiled, nodding at her. She really was Kate’s double. As Gibbs stood again, Annalise gripped his hand. “Please, bring my mom back.”

Gibbs gulped. “I’ll try.”

He brushed his hand over her hair once more before meeting with the group. “Tony, you’re coming with me. She doesn’t look well, really looks like she needs that medicine soon so when we find it, you’re going to take it back. From there I’ll find Kate.”

“Boss, she could be anywhere.” Tony pointed out.

“I agree, Gibbs. This is not a good idea. I will come with you.” Ziva stepped forward.

“No. If those people come looking for Ann, hell, they could have followed her here which means putting everyone’s life in danger, especially hers. We need people here, especially you Ziva.”

“Okay.” Ziva agreed, “I will stay.”

Ducky joined them. “I will give her a blood test, make sure she is hydrated and give her some vitamins.”

“Thanks, Duck. Get her to eat something, too.” Ducky nodded and returned to his duties.

Gibbs took two strides and stood behind Annalise where she was sketching out the map from her memory. “You finished?”

“Mom told me you weren’t patient,” she mumbled to herself, before pointing to a spot on the faintly drawn map. “This is the alley, it’s a dead-end, mom helped me climb up the fire escape.” She moved her finger slightly to the left, and tapped. “This is where I lost my backpack, it’s a parking lot near Joe’s Diner. There’s a tree that has a heart and some letters carved on it. Can’t remember what though.”

“This is really, really good, Ann. This is gonna help find your mom.”

“That’s kinda the point.” She looked up at him.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, “just as sarcastic as your mom.”

“More, actually. If I remember correctly.” Tony smirked.

“Tony and I are going, then he’ll come back with the medicine and I’ll carry on from there to find Kate. I’ll be a few hours, a day at the most.”

“A day on your own, Jethro. That isn’t wise.”

“What isn’t wise is leaving Annalise unprotected with only one person who knows how to fight. I need them here, Duck.” He lowered his voice, pulling Ducky to one side. “If Kate is out there, if I even manage to find her, I’m going to bring her to her little girl. She trusted me enough with that, I am going to do that. For _her_.”

“It is a suicide mission, out there with those… Beasts, and all on your own.”

“I’ll be fine, Duck.” He reloaded his gun, and shoved some spare bullets into his coat pocket.

“Just come back in one piece, Jethro. And bring Caitlin home.”

“That’s the plan.” Gibbs looked over at Annalise and gave her a small, reassuring smile which she returned. “We’ll go out through the back. When we signal on the camera, Abs, you open the shutters, only enough for us to crouch under, and once we’re out shut them.”

Abby hugged him, and Tony, tightly. “Be safe, both of you.”

“We’ll be back in no time.” Tony hugged her back.

“Abs, she’s been through a lot, take her mind off of it, talk to her, distract her.” Gibbs asked, glancing toward Annalise who was devouring some chocolate.

“Yes, Gibbs.” Abby saluted him.

Gibbs and Tony geared up. The rescue mission, and Gibbs’ personal ‘I need answers,’ mission, had only just begun. Both exceptionally unaware of the raw, hidden truth that Annalise’s arrival would soon unveil.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hopeless Light**

* * *

 

When Tony and Gibbs had first exited through the half-open shutter, their eyes stung. Having become so accustomed to the dull, yellow lights of the lab, the only sunlight they had seen all week barely managed to seep through the cracks in the barricaded windows.

Not only shocked, but terrified of what they saw. Stacked cars, smoking, with dismembered people, Roamers, maybe; there was so much blood they couldn’t tell. Smashed windows from the frantic looters of the city, buildings, houses burned to mere ashes and an eerie quiet: No frantic adults in suits, late for work.  There were no children squealing with laughter in the nearby parks, only swings moving slowly in the ghostly wind, and the undead claiming just about every corner they turned.

They both had slashed, shot, and stabbed their way to where they were now. Gibbs unfolded the hand-drawn map, glancing around, and rushing to one of the only trees in the area, scanning it. _‘Together’_ was carved into the middle of a heart of the trunk, it was fresh, post-apocalypse, he could still see the wood shavings on the ground. It was the tree Annalise had described.

Tony’s whistle dragged him from his daze, and he signalled Gibbs over from his position behind a crashed car. Gibbs cautiously joined him, scanning the environment of the parking lot, and then looking up to see a big red sign. “Joe’s Di er.” The ‘N’ had fallen off and cracked the concrete beneath it.

Gibbs gestured to the bag hooked on the fence, “that hers?”

Tony flipped over the strap, “got her initials on it, A T.”

“Good, take it to her.”

“Boss, are you sure-”

“I’m sure, DiNozzo.” He cut in, shoving the backpack into Tony’s hands.

“Kate was my friend too.”

Gibbs shot him a glare, taking a deep breath. “Go, I won’t tell you again. We are losing light, it’s not gonna be safe much longer. Get that medicine to her. If I find Kate, she’s gonna want a daughter to get back to. Now go.”

“Copy that, boss,” he began to walk off but looked behind him, “watch your back out here.”

Gibbs gave him a small nod, and Tony knew he was returning the concern in the only way Gibbs knew how: silence, and small gestures.

With the winter nights drawing in, Gibbs had no choice but to search for a place to rest. Soon he would be blind to any dangers, alive, or dead, knowing that the streetlights had lost power only three days after the world promptly deteriorated. That’s when he decided to seek refuge in a small convenience store, luckily one he had previously noted as a mark to keep track of his location.

He entered it slowly, relieved when no bell sounded as he hesitantly pushed open the door, and scouted for any Roamers. At first sight, he found none, and yet his gut still churned and he edged further into the store, that was almost too dark to see even in front of his face, and so he lifted his flashlight, clicked it on, and held it beneath his gun. He noted the closed door which lead to the back of the store, and figured he’s check it out after clearing the aisles. He moved behind the cash register, and round nothing but a few blankets, and empty food wrappers, from the shop owner when everything started to unfold, he guessed. He swung around the aisles swiftly and on light feet, finding nothing but dusty shelves, the mess looters had left.

His stomach grumbled and so he dropped his guard, and searched the shelves for whatever was left, a few bars of chocolate was all he found, and he shoved them into his coat pocket for later. A flicker of white light caught his eye, and a click of the door behind him - the door which lead to the back and he’d still yet to clear - and he swung around, but saw nothing. He blinked through the darkness, his gun raised again, and his flashlight began to flicker, and then shut off.

“Shit.” He cursed quietly through gritted teeth, banging it a few times and giving up. He was now left in darkness, and if he was being honest, a little terrified at what waited for him.

His eyesight wasn’t the best in the world, and squinting through the dark store sure as hell didn’t help. He saw the beam of light again, and rushed round the aisle, flinching when he was met with a bright light shining in his face, and the silhouette of a gun pointed straight toward him.

The spots disappeared in his eyes and they began to focus on the figure standing in front of him.

_Kate._

The light illuminated her, and he didn't expect he’d feel this when found her, if he found her again. If anything, anger, was what he was sure would come and yet it didn’t. Instead, relaxation coursed through him, his shoulders slumped and a sizeable lump settled itself in his throat. His eyes were surely glassy, glistening in the flashlight, and somehow he didn’t care.

He was unable to move, grounded, and his legs heavy. But the light dropped from his face, and she was rushing toward him, a strangled sob that sounded something similar to his name tearing itself from her soul. She ran to him faster than her legs could take her, and collided heavily against his chest, clinging to him as if her life depended on it.

It took a few moments before Gibbs reacted and he wrapped her up in a tight hug, pressing himself into her, the sheer force of the hug causing them to stumble clumsily. One hand held her waist, and the other held the back of her head, stroking across her hair soothingly. And for the first time in eleven years, she breathed. She really, breathed. He felt it, he felt her chest heave against his, letting out all the pain he imagined she’d endured, as she relaxed into the comfort of his homely embrace.

When they pulled away Gibbs’ hand instinctively landed on the side of her face, stroking a thumb across her cheek. She looked different, she looked so different, and yet it was still Kate. Her eyes were like the golden glow of a forest fire, with flecks of chocolate brown rivers, in which tears formed, and spilled. Her now butterscotch hair shorter than he remembered, and wavy. Gibbs was so lost in her eyes he hadn’t noticed the bruise around it, and the bloodied split in her bottom lip. Despite this, she wore a sunshine smile coated with apologises and familiarity; her cheeks damp and flushed. She looked drastically unlike the Kate he had known, and yet the freckles dotting her nose and cheeks were undoubtedly her.

His lips twitched upward, “Kate,” he breathed, speechlessly awed by her new appearance.

She nodded, a silent confirmation of her identity, “hi, you,” she croaked, her tongue poking out to moisten her lips and simultaneously stinging the cut on it.

He stroked his thumb gently over the fresh gash on her lip, concern masking his face, and she saw something flicker in his eyes, perhaps a piece of herself she had left behind in him.

She shook her head, thus shrugging away his hand, “it’s fine,” she spoke quietly and ran her hands over her face; an attempt to dry the stray tears.

His thoughts caught up with him, stumbling over one another, each pushing for attention.

“Annalise,” was all he could manage, as he balled his fists and urged himself to stop shaking.

Kate’s face fell, “is she-” In fear of the answer, she didn’t finish her question.

“No, she’s safe. She’s with the team… our team.”

“Oh God, thank you.” She sighed, pushing her hair away from her face anxiously.

“Light,” he cleared his throat, “light hair. It looks good, you look,” he sighed defeatedly over his stuttered words, “you look good.”

Her movements became static, and her hand stilled for a moment in her hair, the unexpected compliment catching her off guard. She dropped her hand, letting her hair cascade over her face.

“And you haven’t changed one bit, Gibbs.”

Humour laced his gruff tone, “that good, or bad?”

She tilted her head, a small smile playing on her lips, “good. Very good.”

Gibbs turned his attention to the door leading to the back, nodding over to it, “what’s back there?”

“Old stock, food, only a small window, I was just barricading myself inside for the night until I heard a noise out here. Where’s that famous stealth gone?”

Gibbs rolled his eyes, but smirked, “you’re not so discreet yourself.”

She shrugged, “I’m not trained for it.”

He laughed loudly, “I see where Annalise get’s her sarcasm from now.”

Kate smiled widely, but it soon turned bitter. “Is she really okay?”

“She’s dehydrated, exhausted, but she’s okay. She’s strong, Kate. And with the team, she’s safe.”

Kate chewed on her lip worriedly, but nodded. “Thank you. If she didn’t make it to you… I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Why are people after you, Kate? More importantly, why are they after her?”

She rubbed the back of her neck, avoiding his eyes. “We better set up that store room, it’s small, but we’ll both fit,” she strode past him, pushing the door open, and began clearing one of the shelves inside.

He didn’t push her, he stood dumbfounded, wondering why she was so eager to avoid his questions.

“You gonna just stand there and stare, or are you gonna help?” Her voice was blunt, but lacked annoyance, and soon his senses kicked in and he began to help.

Once the shelf was clear, and they were both inside with the door closed, they pushed it on its side and against the door, so that if it were to open, it would only a little, and then become stuck against the other shelves. Kate’s unspoken, clever plan to barricade the door for their safety seemed all too natural for her, and Gibbs painfully guessed she’d been surviving like this for a while, before the world had fallen.

The hours passed and it was deafeningly silent, not so much awkward, they both had important things to say and yet all they managed to muster was small talk about the team, how everyone was doing, and about Ziva, who had took Kate’s place. Kate had propped her flashlight between two boxes, using it as a makeshift light, and yet they could still barely see each other. She sat with her back against the concrete wall, and her knees to her chest. He noticed as she shivered, and pulled the sleeves of her thin sweater over her hands.

“Here, take this.” Gibbs said, beginning to remove his coat.

She stopped him, “I’m fine, Gibbs. Get some sleep, you’re going to need it.”

“Kate, you’re freezing!” He argued.

Kate locked her jaw, “I’m fine.”

Gibbs huffed, giving in and pulling his coat back over his shoulders, but he didn’t take his eyes off her.  

She felt his eyes burning into her, “I know what you want and I can’t. I have no answers for you, Gibbs. I can’t, not yet.”

“I get it,” he twitched his fingers, but fought against the urge to reach for her hand, “you can trust me, Kate.”

“It’s not that. I know I can, otherwise I wouldn’t have sent Ann to you. Ann’s sick, Gibbs. She’s really sick, and if she doesn’t get her medicine, she’ll quickly deteriorate.”

“She’s okay,” he reassured, “she lost her backpack, but Tony is taking it to her with the medicine. Ducky is checking her over, she’s eating, Abby is already in love with her.”

Kate smiled sadly, and fiddled her fingers together, “I missed them.”

“We missed you too, Kate,” he sighed, “where they hell have you been?”

“I can’t,” she whispered, taking a large gulp, “I can’t.”

Gibbs sighed, becoming frustrated, and shifted in his seated position. Kate looked numb, fragile, nothing more than a hollow shell with a familiar face.

“I know you want to know Gibbs, and you deserve to. God, I can’t imagine how difficult it was for everyone, and for that I am so sorry. But right now, I can’t talk about it because every time I do, I selfishly wish I’d died on that rooftop, because it would have been a hell of a lot simpler than this.”

Gibbs glared at her, but anger somehow was washed from his face and empathy shone in his eyes, “when you're ready.”

“I promise,” she nodded, taking a deep breath, “right now, I just want to see my little girl.” She turned away from him again, resting her head back against the wall.

“Get some sleep.” He spoke gruffly, and it was somewhere between an order and a suggestion, but she complied. Stubborn, and shivering, exhaustion won the battle, and Kate was soon asleep, her breathing steadied. Gibbs shrugged off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders, stroking a hand over her hair.

“You’re safe now,” he mumbled into the darkness, before settling next to her, and closing his eyes.

* * *

 

Annalise curled up tighter, shivering, and she cried out.

“Are you in pain, dear?” Ducky asked, patting her forehead with a wet towel.

She nodded, wincing, “it hurts, Ducky.”

Ziva paced the lab impatiently, “where the hell is Tony? I am going to kill him.”

All of a sudden, two large, sharp bangs sounded and Tim promptly checked the surveillance.

“It’s him.” Tim confirmed, with a nervous gulp.

“I will back him up, McGee, open the gate!” Ziva rushed out of the lab and to the shutter, greeting Tony, and helping to make sure the grouped Roamers at the entrance didn’t seep into the building.

“Are you okay?” Ziva asked, scanning Tony with worried eyes.

“I’m fine, are you?”

Ziva nodded, and lead him safely back to the lab.

“Did you find my mom?” Annalise shivered, her voice trembling.

“Not yet, sweetheart, but Gibbs, he’s gonna find her. I got your medicine though, and look, I’m sure you’ve missed this.” He pulled out a small, fluffy giraffe with abnormally large eyes, which instantly brought a smile to Annalise’s face.

She spoke softly, her voice cracking as she did, and she took the stuffed animal from him gratefully, holding it to her chest, “Max.” She took a deep breath, as painful as that may be, and was comforted by the smell of Kate.

Ducky scrambled to understand her medicine, or just the right dosage she needed. He managed to figure it out, and gently stuck the needle into the vein on her arm, as she squeezed Tony’s hand, and slammed her eyes shut. She’d been through this all too many times before, and yet each time was just as unpleasant as the first.

“So, Max, huh? You like giraffes?” Tony attempted to distract her from the pain.

“I know I’m too old, but, ah-” she winced, “mom say’s everyone is allowed something that makes them forget.”

Abby joined in, grabbing Bert and sitting in front of Annalise’s laying position on the futon on the floor. “You are never too old for stuffed animals!” She protested, “this is Bert!” She squeezed him, which caused Annalise to giggle.

They settled down for the night, with Tony, Ziva and McGee taking turns to watch over the cameras, and the group, and the rest getting the much needed sleep from the hectic events the day had presented them with.

Slowly, but surely, the medicine seeped through Annalise’s veins and the colour returned to her face. As her pain began to subside, she drifted to sleep, hugging her stuffed giraffe, Max, under her chin.

* * *

 

It was smashing glass that caused Kate to jolt awake, sitting up dead straight and grabbing the gun from under her thigh.

Gibbs glanced at her, his ear pressed to the door, “there are only a few out there.”

She relaxed, lowering her gun and stretching her neck, groaning in pain as she did, “did you even sleep?”

“Some.” He came to stand next to her, the new morning light allowing him to see her more clearly, and he couldn’t seem to drag his eyes away from her as she stood. Her black denim jeans faded, and fraying. Her mid-calf, black, combat boots worn, but still practical.

“Thanks for your jacket.” She handed it back to him, with a sheepish smile.

He shrugged, “you needed it more than I did.” He took it from her and put it on.

He glanced at her again, tilting his head to really look at her. Her bruised face somehow looked worse in the morning sun that poured through the small window, and anger surged through him. “It hurt?”

“You ever been smacked in the face, Gibbs? Three times? It tends to hurt.” She bit, sarcastically.

“Kate-”

“Sorry…” She pursed her lips, and looked at him, “it hurts, but It’s nothing I can’t deal with.”

“When we get back, Ducky is looking at it. That’s an order.”

Kate glared at him, “an order? You’re not my boss anymore, Gibbs.”

“Then as a friend. I want Ducky to look at it for you.” Her arms were folded across her chest and her eyes narrowed, “please?”

She sighed defeatedly, “okay, now let’s get out of here. I want to see my daughter.”

Gibbs nodded, lifting the shelf away from the door, and pushing it to the side.

“You ready?” He asked, his hand gripping the handle.

“Ready.” She confirmed, raising her gun and readying herself in front of the door.

However, when it swung open it wasn’t what Gibbs had earlier suggested. A swarm of Roamers snapped their heads round, and stumbled toward the door, more than Gibbs imagined; too many to count.

“Kate!” Gibbs yelled, as one grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her toward its chattering teeth. He yanked her away from it, and she flew against the shelf and fell to the ground. He shot the Roamer straight through the temple, and slammed the door shut. He threw down the shelf again, and pushed another one onto it for more security. In an instant, he was by her side, his hand in hers as he helped her up.  

“You alright?” His eyes scanned her, and his hand didn’t leave hers until he was absolutely sure she hadn’t been scratched, or bitten.

“The window is too small, I’d barely get an arm out of there” She observed, breathlessly.

“The store isn’t an option, Kate, there are too many.”

“Where did they all come from?”

“The better question is, how the hell are we going to get out.” Gibbs began tapping on the walls behind the shelves, checking for hollow points, but Kate was inspecting the room, and found a hollowed square on the ceiling.

She tapped his shoulder, and pointed upward, “Gibbs!”

He used the knocked over, tilted shelves as a makeshift ladder and pushed upward forcefully with his palms on the square, it didn’t move. He flipped his knife open, and made quick work at unscrewing the frame. This took almost no time at all, and he pushed upward again, and he slid the heavy wood to one side, and the morning light poured into the room, filling it with bright oranges and plum purples.

“Gibbs!” Kate warned, but it was too late, and the Roamers who were smashing, and clawing at the door had pushed it open, and although they were unable to get in, it jogged the shelf Gibbs was standing on and he stumbled off of it, falling onto Kate, and effectively pinning her against the wall.

She felt his breath on her flushed face, and for a mere moment, the danger around her dissolved, the past eleven years disappeared and she was his subordinate again, pressed against him in a submarine. The fantasy was thrown far from her, when the banging on the door increased and the herd of Roamers fought harder to get in.

Gibbs moved away from her, gesturing for her to go up before him, she did. She climbed up, with help from him, and pulled herself through. He followed not long after, and they found themselves stood on the roof of the small convenience store.

They were surrounded. Hundreds of Roamers circling the store, and wandering the streets around it.

“Gibbs…” She gasped, the fear evident in her voice.

“I know,” and without a second thought he grabbed, and held her small hand in the palm of his, and looked at her.

Her eyes widened, surprised, and shot their hands, and then up to lock her onto his.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, “together?”

She gulped, and gave him a small, but brave smile. “Together.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Hopeless Light**

* * *

 

The swarm of Roamers closed in around the building. Scratching, clawing, growling, trying to tear down anything in their path in order to reach Kate and Gibbs on the rooftop.

Gibbs’ hand was still locked within hers, and as he tugged it her senses kicked in again, and he was dragging her back until they bumped into a wall behind them. He looked up, and then around, and noticed a ladder leading to a higher roof. He squeezed her hand to grab her attention, and pointed to it, so she followed him over.

“I’ll go first, see if it’s clear. I’ll signal you up.”

“Gibbs, I- On my own?”

He looked at her, suddenly all his attention was focused on her worried eyes, and frowning face.

“Something wrong?”

“I don't exactly do well with heights.” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, unable to keep still.

Realisation washed over him and he remembered that case where Kate propelled from the crane, and how terrified she was of it.

He let go of her hand, and stood behind her, placing his hand on her hip, both standing in front of the ladder. 

“I’ll be right behind you.”

She looked back at him, frowning, but nodded and started to climb slowly and carefully.

She looked down and whimpered softly, causing his grip on her waist to tighten, which was a reassurance all in itself.

“I’ve got you, Kate.”

“Okay.” She gulped, and continued the long, dreaded journey up the ladder.

At the top, she peaked her head over, scanning for danger, and then she climbed up, and he soon followed.

“You alright?” He asked, ducking his head to look at her, his hand still in hers from when she’d helped him to climb up.

She bobbed her head, “thanks.” She murmured a little breathlessly, and squeezed his hand gratefully. “This must lead down somewhere else, somewhere quieter, it has to.” 

“Even if we have to go over rooftops for a bit, is that gonna be okay with you?” 

Kate chewed on the inside of her cheek nervously, but nodded, “I’ll be fine.” 

“Good, because I think it’s our only option to get you back safely.”

“Us, Gibbs. Us back safely.”

He shot her a warned look, “you, Kate. You’re the priority, getting you back to Ann.” 

“Well, I’m not letting you die either.” She said pointedly, and checked her gun for bullets, “I’ve got four, how many do you have?”

“Seven.” He said, without even checking, he had memorised his bullets and calculated every shot he took.

“Even together, it’s not nearly enough to get through all of those...”

“We’ll be okay, we just gotta keep moving.” He glanced at her again, “hey, you with me?”

She was a little dazed, evidently exhausted, “yeah, I’m here," she blinked.

He used two fingers to lift her chin, squinting as he scanned her eyes, “we’re finding some water on the way back, you gonna be okay?”

“I’m okay." She mumbled so quickly it sounded rehearsed.

“You don't have to lie, Kate. Not to me.”

“I’m not lying, I’m fine. Come on, we need to get moving.”

Gibbs exhaled audibly, following her as she approached the railing, and cautiously leaned over. 

“There’s a roof below here, it's the only way down.” Her voice was panicked.

“I’ll go down.” 

“Be careful.” She told him, worriedly.

He secured his gun on his hip, and lifted himself over the railing, sitting on top of it before jumping down the short way, and landing expertly on his feet, before clearing all the blind spots on the rooftop.

“Clear.” He called, and returned, looking up at her.

She sat hesitantly on the metal railing, the cold pierced through her jeans and stung the back of her thighs, her knuckles white from gripping it so hard. 

“Kate, look at me. Don't look down."

“Kinda can’t help that, Gibbs.” 

“Look straight at me  and don't stop.” He held his arms out, “I’ll catch you.”

“I don’t know, Gibbs-”

“I will catch you.” He said slower, making the sincerity in his voice clearer. 

She took a deep breath and locked her eyes on his, “okay.” She let go of the railing and leaped from it, landing clumsily in Gibbs’ arms, and against his chest with a thump. His arms tightened around her waist as they stumbled backward together. 

Gibbs grunted, and glanced down at her, “you okay?”

She nodded breathlessly, “good, thank you.”

He removed his arms from her waist, and rushed over to a ladder which lead down into an alley. 

“Gibbs.” Kate called from her position; far from the edge, but enough to see over. He joined her side as she continued, “the subway. We could go through the tunnels, it’s a direct line there, it shouldn't take long.”

“Good, thinking. There’s a way down over here, leads to the street. We’ll circle round back and into the subway. Seems like the safest option.”

* * *

 

They had managed an escape route. Be it luck, or just their almost famous stealth, they had made it into the subway station without too much hassle. Gibbs handed her a bottle of water he'd retrieved from a small stall, ordering for her to drink. Becoming increasingly worried since they’d been manoeuvring around groups of Roamers, and Kate had collapsed against the wall, her head spinning. 

She sipped the water, rolling her eyes when she offered him some but he refused, and instead, he watched for any oncoming danger as they took a short, much needed break to catch their breath. 

She eyed him, screwing the cap closed and nudging his elbow with it. “You sure you don’t want any?” 

“No.” He said without looking at her. 

“Typical.” She muttered.

He swung round to face her, “what?” 

“You. Not needing the basic things to survive. How’s the coffee situation by the way?” 

He grimaced, “don’t remind me. One cup of coffee, that’s not really coffee, a day..."

“Sorry.” She managed a small, short laugh. 

Silence fell over them once more.

“Look, Gibbs I-” 

“Save that thought, we’ve got company.” He hushed her, pushing her behind him, and reaching for his knife. “Through the tunnels,” he instructed, “grab my flashlight, it's looped through my belt.” 

She patted at his jacket, feeling for the flashlight and grabbed it, flicking it on. 

Gibbs was quick to take out the two Roamers with little effort, and made sure she stayed behind him. She had her knife raised, and the flashlight pointed into the dark tunnel. Despite the several, quite literal, blind spots, the tunnels were the safest route back to the Navy Yard.

Inching forward, it was quiet. Really, really quiet, to the point that every careful step echoed, bouncing off the walls, and right back to them. 

“Gibbs,” she kept her voice low, her lips close to his ear from behind him, “do you know where we are?” 

He shook his head, but realised she wouldn’t be able to see him so he whispered back, “no.” 

She tugged on his arm, which halted his movements, and then pointed the flashlight around, seeking signs through the darkness. 

“Close enough, C’mon.” He hopped up onto the platform and held his hand out, helping her up.

They cautiously edged up the concrete stairs, following the beam of daylight that was flooding through, and onto the platform. They reached the top of the stairs and Gibbs stalled his movements, peeking around the wall they were hidden behind. The Navy Yard wasn’t far: it was visible, across the road and through multiple crashed cars. The building was evidently run down, absent from it’s usual busy ambience. The city was a stranger now.

With no obvious danger in sight, they kept low and quick on their feet, moving toward the entrance.  Upon approaching, they found that the once secure shutters were heavily dented, with blue paint scratched off onto the dirty, silver metal. Kate ducked through the broken gap in the shutter, followed by Gibbs. When they entered, the overpowering smell metal and gunpowder filled their nostrils. There was a pool of blood, trickling down the uneven concrete floors. Kate shot Gibbs a look, fear burning in her chest as they followed the stream, to find a man with multiple bullet holes in his chest, sprawled on the floor. 

“Annalise…” Kate whispered to herself and rushed further into the building. 

Gibbs was hot on her heels, chasing after her. “Kate, Kate!” He hissed, and caught her, grabbing her arm and pulling her round to face him. 

“That’s him! That’s one of them, one of the men who want Ann. You said she was safe, Gibbs!” Kate ran her fingers through her hair frantically, her breaths heavy and her eyes wide.

“Hey!" He griped her shoulders, "He’s dead. They got him. C’mon, best bet is the lab, that’s where they’re all holed up.” 

Kate took a deep breath, and then another, before following closely behind Gibbs as he lead her to the lab. It wasn’t like she didn’t know her way around, in fact, the familiarity made her feel as though she was home, yet still, she let him lead the way. They took the stairs, jogging down them quickly, but before they went into the lab Gibbs glanced back at her. 

“Ready?” 

She nodded slowly, hesitant with her answer, anxiety fizzing in the pit of her stomach. 

When Kate stepped into the room, Annalise was in her arms in an instant. Kate clutched her tight, stroking a hand over her hair and kissing her head. 

“Are you okay?” Kate asked, scanning her eyes over Annalise, finding nothing but signature freckles, a few bruises, and old cuts and scratches. 

“I’m fine, mom. I thought I’d never see you again.” Her face crumbled, causing Kate to pull her close again, and whisper soothingly into her ear. 

The silence in the room made Kate look up from her daughter, and over her old friends, whom were all gawking at her. She offered them a smile that no one but Ducky weakly returned. 

“Caitlin… Good heavens, it really is you.” Ducky approached her, and once Annalise had moved aside, he was pulling her in for a hug of his own. 

Kate’s smile widened, and she let herself be comforted by the friendly hug. “It’s me.” 

“Kate, you’ve… changed. Never pegged you for a blonde.” Tony piped up, and enveloped her into a hug once her arms were free of Ducky.

She rolled her eyes, “and you haven’t changed one bit, Tony.” 

She looked over to Ziva, and then to Tony, and as if on cue he introduced her. “Kate, this is Ziva.” 

“It is nice to meet you, I feel like I know you already.” Ziva presented her with a welcoming smile, and shook her hand, "I've heard a lot."

Kate’s own smile was grateful at the welcome she was receiving, and glanced over to McGee. “You look all grown up.” 

McGee bear hugged her, a baby brother reunited with his big sister, “I missed you, Kate. We all did.” 

“I know.” She said sadly, patting his shoulder. 

From across the lab, her eyes locked with Abby’s. 

“Abby…” She trailed off, frowning at the icy glare she was receiving. 

“No, Kate. Just because I missed you, and you have, like, the most awesome daughter ever, it doesn’t mean I’m not going to be mad at you.”

“You have every right to be angry, Abby. Look, you all do.” Kate moved and stood behind Annalise, her hands resting on her shoulders. “I want to formally introduce you to Annalise Abigail Todd. My daughter.” The smile on Kate’s face was one of pride as she looked down toward Annalise. 

“Oh, Kate.” Abby's face scrunched up, and much to everyone’s surprise, was hugging Kate, Annalise awkwardly squished in the middle. 

“Ah, please.” Annalise complained and wriggled free from her trap. 

“I missed you, Kate.” 

“I missed you too, Abby.” She pulled away from her, and looked around the room, searching each and every one of their faces. She saw nothing but bittersweet smiles, and hope in their eyes. Then her eyes locked on Gibbs’ and he was grinning from ear to ear. As she spoke, her eyes didn’t once leave his, not even to blink. “I missed all of you.” 

Gibbs cleared his throat, averting his eyes from hers and over to Tony. “The dead guy?” 

“Two guys drove straight into the shutter. They were looking for Annalise, one got away. They don’t know she’s here. They didn’t get close enough.” Tony explained. 

“Thank you, Tony, all of you. For protecting her.”

“Anything for Mini-Kate.” 

Annalise twisted her head and grinned up at Kate, clearly proud to be compared to her mother, who she aspired to be just like. 

“Caitlin, I hate to be the one to interrupt the much deserved reunions, but Annalise became very sick last night and I’m led to believe it’s on going. What does she have?” 

“I was hoping you could tell me.” Kate sighed, grabbing Annalise’s backpack from the desk and opening it, pulling out few glass bottles of medicine. “She most likely won’t live without these. I was hoping Abby could find out what is in them, to hopefully make some more because it’s running out. The less she has of it, the less time she has.” 

“Of course I'll help.” 

“Do it now, Abs. The generators only have a couple more days. After that, these machines are useless.” Gibbs interjected, giving Abby a nod of approval, and she made quick work to start the tests.

“Do you know what it’s treating? It’ll help narrow down the search.” Abby asked, pulling on a pair of latex gloves.

“It’s something to do with her red blood cells, they don’t form properly, or they form too slowly, I don’t know much. Can you do a blood test too?” 

“No, please mom.” Annalise hugged her arms around herself, cowering away.

“Ann…” Kate trailed off, understanding her fear of needles all too well, “this will help. The last one. I promise, okay? The last time.” 

Annalise squeezed her eyes shut and nodded slowly. 

“That’s my brave girl,” she stroked a hand over Annalise’s hair, “Ducky, please.” 

“Of course, Caitlin." He turned toward Annalise, "And it won’t hurt a bit.” 

When Ducky folded up Annalise’s sleeve he was mortified at what he found. Scarring on the skin around her veins. Vicious bruises only just fading, and angry scars from careless needles, some years old, but some painfully fresh. 

He couldn’t help but gasp, and shoot a questioning look toward Kate, who simply shook her head at him, a silent plea for him to keep his questions to himself. 

* * *

 

They were sat next to each other as everyone slept, their backs pressed against the wall, their shoulders bumping together with every slight breath. 

“Still doesn’t feel real.” Gibbs whispered into the night, the only flicker of light coming from three, little tea lights on desk in front of them.  

She pursed her lips, her eyebrow quirking upward, “what doesn't?”

“You. Here again.”

“Want me to pinch you?” She quipped, her lips forming a smirk. 

His laugh came out as a mere, but heavy, breath, and he smiled that half-smile, reserved for just her. 

“Can you two stop flirting, I’m trying to sleep.” 

Kate’s eyes went wide, and through the darkness she could see Annalise’s shoulders bobbing up and down as she giggled quietly to herself. “Annalise Abigail Todd, go to sleep.” 

“I’m trying.” 

“Try harder.” Kate said through gritted teeth, although, she was more embarrassed than anything else.

“Yes, mom.” She said routinely, and clutched her stuffed giraffe tighter to her chest. and

Gibbs shook his head, amused by their interactions. He leaned into her ear, low enough so no one else could hear, “she’s exactly like you, a smart-mouth.”

She glared at him, and that’s when it hit: exactly how much he’d forgotten. How much of her had somehow faded from his memory and now all the things that undoubtedly drew him toward her like a gravitational pull were flooding back. Everything was coming loose at the seams, him included, and he saw the playful glint in her eyes, that same one that had left his when she’d left.

He stood, and held his hand out to help her up. She complied, and followed him to the elevator that had broken down earlier that day, the doors jammed open. He sat in it, his back against the wall like his previous position in the lab and she did the same. 

Kate sighed restlessly, her head pressed back into the wall. “I’ve killed people, Gibbs.” She mumbled quietly, her voice shaking.

“What?” He was shocked by the sudden change in conversation.

“I killed everyone. Everyone of them.” 

He turned slightly toward her, intrigued. "Kate, what are you talking about?” 

“At first, it was a mission. I was undercover. But I found out what they were really using me for, what they were really doing. They were bad people, Gibbs.” 

“What were they doing?” 

“This whole thing? It’s a virus. They were studying it, and I was profiling the infected. Some were placebo, some infected, some given a simple flu virus. Only, it wasn’t out of control. The patients had all consented to testing, it was government affirmed, and legal. I wouldn't have agreed to it otherwise. Only, someone on the inside was corrupt. They managed to steal the virus, and make a stronger strain, a biochemical weapon, hence the outbreak.” 

“And Ann? The needle marks on her arm?”

“They created her. They used my egg… someone’s sperm and they made her. That’s why her blood is so different, she was genetically altered. They told me she would be safe, she would live a normal life with me but- well, it wasn't entirely true. At first, I was there voluntarily but then, when I figured they was using Ann as some kind of test subject, I tried to leave but they had us trapped. Ironically, the outbreak is the best thing that's happened to us. Working as a distraction so we could escape. First place I wanted to go was here. First person I wanted to find was you.”

“How long where you in there?" He frowned, and cleared the lump in his throat. “You- You could have called. Would've got you out.”

“Five years willingly, the next six not so much. It wasn’t that easy, Gibbs. I couldn't just call.”

“I know.” He said, his voice laced with apologies.

“I wasn't meant to raise her but I couldn't let her be used like a lab rat, Gibbs. The things they put her through, no child should have to go through that. I got attached to my baby girl, in spite of what they did to me. I fought so hard, refused to give her up. In the end they became restless, fed up with the trouble it caused. They made sure I paid for my actions, but her safety is priceless."

“She’s your daughter, Kate. And she looks up to you. She's strong and alive because of you.” 

“She's the only reason I stayed alive.”

Gibbs noticed her bottom lip start to quiver, his fingers twitched upward, and he swallowed before reaching for her hand and clutching it in his. She looked up at him, her watery eyes glistening. Her hands were ice cold against his so he picked up her other hand from her lap and held them between his, rubbing his hands over hers in an attempt to warm them. 

With their faces now close, he looked up at her and into her eyes, “you’ve safe now, Kate.” He whispered softly, the warmth of his breath tickling her cheek and making her shiver involuntarily. “Both of you.”

She smiled weakly, and her shoulders visibly relaxed.

“Who is her father?” Gibbs attempted to sound nonchalant but was sure that despite his efforts, a bite of jealousy slipped through his voice. He reluctantly released her hands, and shoved his own into his pockets.

She chewed on her lip, “I don't know. Just a sperm donor but I know they had to have a specific gene. That's why they chose me. Something in my DNA is unique, hence needing me to make Annalise.”

He nodded his understanding, “she’s a fascinating girl. She's all you.”

The comment made Kate smile up at him, and squeeze his hand. “Thanks for taking care of her.”

“About that.”

Kate's smile promptly fell, and she looked at him quizzically, “oh God, what happened? What did you do?”

“I… might’ve pointed a gun at her and she did nothing but stand up and give me that same glare that… you’re giving me right now.”

Kate snatched her hand from his, and brought it up to collide with the back of his head. “You pointed a gun at my daughter?” 

He winced, “I didn't know what to think, Kate. She was suddenly telling me you were alive it was hard to accept. She forgave me though." He smiled smugly. 

“She forgave you? That’s a surprise.” Kate shrugged, “seems like she likes you. You should feel honoured. She doesn’t trust easy, considering.”

“I am honoured. Mini-Kate liked me.” He teased playfully.

Kate half-laughed, and scooted closer toward him, nudging her shoulder against his. "It's why I told her about you. About your rules. I wanted her to know that there were men out there who wouldn't hurt her, who would protect her. She always thought you were nothing but a character in my stories... I guess, in a sense, you were my fantasy.  Thank you, Gibbs. For keeping her safe.”

“She’s a good kid. Beautiful little girl, looks just like you.”

Her smile was small, and her cheeks flushed pale pink. Did he just imply that he thought she was beautiful? She shook the thought from her head, a melancholy feeling overwhelming her, and her chest trembled. 

“I’m sorry, Gibbs.” 

“Ah, Kate. What’d I tell ya about apologising?” 

“That I didn’t have to crochet that one?” 

“Got nothing to be sorry for, Kate.” 

“I should have told you.” Still, after all this time, Kate second guessed her actions.

“You didn’t have a choice, did you?” Gibbs hoped she hadn’t, and that leaving wasn’t a choice she made with a smiling face, and a contented heart.

She shook her head, pulling her knees to her chest, and resting her chin on the top of them, “I didn’t.” She took a deep breath, almost a sigh, and glanced toward him. She chewed her lip nervously, a habit, he noted, that she hadn’t discarded of. “Remember Ari?” 

He glared at her, and although she was sitting right beside him, shoulder to shoulder, angry memories of the man who ‘killed’ her flashed in his mind. His jaw clenched, and she felt the muscles in his arms tense beneath his coat.

“Right,” she continued, “I was working with him. I was a double Agent with the Secret Service. Ari leaked information from Mossad that there was a potential threat on the president, a biochemical weapon to be released on Air Force One.” 

“That explains his escape from autopsy.” Gibbs’ tone held more force than before, and he was well aware of his cold stare.

“It isn’t what you’re thinking, Gibbs. I wouldn’t betray my country. You- I wouldn’t betray you.” 

Gibbs bobbed his head, “Go on.” 

“We worked together, but after a while... He became obsessed, Gibbs. Scary obsessed. With the virus, and with me.” 

“He hurt you?” 

She didn’t answer. With that, and the tears gathering under her eyes, Gibbs came to his own conclusion. He lifted his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder, a failed attempt at a hug, but it would do for now. 

“Annalise his?” 

Her head snapped up, exasperated by his question. “God, no.” 

He avoided locking eyes with hers, and awkwardly lowered them to the ground. 

Once her sudden, out-burst of anger has subsided, Kate gently bumped her elbow into his ribs. One she was sure he wasn’t removing his arm around her shoulders, she leaned against his side, and relaxed into him. “For a time, I hoped you’d all forgotten about me."

“You know something, Kate?” He gazed down at her as she shuffled her head on his shoulder, and looked toward him. “Not a single day went by when you didn’t cross my mind.”

Her face lit up when she smiled at him through quivering lips, her lashes damp and fluttering in slow motion as she blinked. He was engulfed by her existence, and slowly but surely he could feel her in his veins, taking over and turning his bones to sponge. 

Despite the virus, years of Gibbs' guilty self-torture, and her tragic torment: Caitlin Todd was home. With the clock running down, they were both unsure of what tomorrow would bring and so they grinned into the night, their frivolous muttered words making up for years on top of years of wasted time. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Hopeless Light**

* * *

 

The grocery store was as useless as Gibbs had expected. It was the third one they’d hit that day and just like the others, it was trashed, with barely anything but canned peaches, some rope, a few bottles of water, and some stray batteries rolling around. Although larger than the rest, between the eight of them, they cleared the store of roamers, deciding that an entire group going to salvage what they could was safer than splitting off, and leaving some at the yard.

Gibbs’ eyebrows shot up when he heard a giggle pierce through the hair. Peeking around the corner of the aisle, he saw Kate in a practical, black coat, but she was twirling like it was a princess ball gown, as if to show off her outfit to Annalise, laughing as she did. It was all too clear to Gibbs what Kate was doing, distracting Ann from her constant fear, and finding some normality in the hell they were made to live in. Also, with the cold weather, Kate definitely needed a warm coat, so it wasn't the worst decision she’d made. Looking around, he saw that none of the team were troubled as they searched high and low on the shelves. He joined Kate and Annalise, grabbing a scarf from the wrack he passed, and wrapping it around Kate’s neck, her hair bunching inside of it.

She narrowed her eyes at him quizzically, but played along in their little charade of distracting Annalise from the harsh reality of the world. His smile was small on his lips, but genuine, as he watched them giggle stupidly together, and Kate put on funny voices as she posed in front of them, and they’d glance at each other, like judges of a modelling show, and shake their heads. Somewhere in the laughter Gibbs and Kate had caught each other's eye, and were absentmindedly staring as Annalise gazed between them in wonder.

Splitting up, Tony, Ziva and Ducky went one way, whilst Tim and Abby went the other. As they searched, Tim noticed the pharmacy at the back of the store with undamaged shutters still secured, first noticing it only because of the large, faded blue X that had been drawn beside the handle. Running his finger over it, the blue transferred onto his skin; it was chalk. Frowning, he tried the handle on the door to find that it was locked. He pulled his lock picking tools from his inner pocket, and made quick work at unlocking the door.

“What are you doing?” Abby scanned around nervously, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

“It looks untouched, there could still be some medicine in there.” Tim explained without looking up, still focused on unlocking the door. “Almost there,” he mumbled to himself, “got it!” He returned the tools to his pocket, and twisted the door handle, cracking it open the tiniest amount.

“You stay here, I don’t know what’s in there yet.”

Abby didn’t protest, but she nodded slowly, “be careful,” she pleaded with panicked eyes.

“I will.”

Gibbs jerked his head in the direction of the terrified scream and his once soft and playful eyes widened. Kate clutched Annalise in front of her, and drew her gun, keeping up with Gibbs’ fast pace as they rushed forward to inspect the yelling, and Gibbs’ name frantically being called.

Filling the store through an emergency exit were roamers. Roamers by the dozen, scrambling in, the urge to feast on fresh skin. The gunfire only made Kate and Gibbs run faster, and closer toward it. After all running toward flying bullets had always been their specialty.

Three were already dead, four with the one Abby had just hit on the head with a wine bottle, splashing red wine in every possible direction.

Tim had previously cleared the pharmacy, little did he know there were roamers filling the alleys through the emergency exit, by opening the door and poking his head out to inspect, he’d rang the dinner bell. He couldn’t push the door shut, there were too many, too fast for his instincts to kick it, and so they were flooding into the store, overpowering the team, and cornering them into a trap.  

Kate interjected between Abby and a roamer, using the base of her root to deliver a sharp blow to it’s stomach as she kicked it away from him, and shot it clean through the temple. 

“Where are the others?” Kate asked frantically, as the five of them kept on their toes, moving swiftly through the aisles to find a short refuge.

“They went that way,” Tim pointed toward the left, “Tony said something about finding the camping gear, maybe they went there.”

“Okay. Gibbs, you go and find them, take Ann and Abby with you. They’ve caught our smell, they’re coming. We’ll take down as many as we can and lead the others away.”

“Kate, I’m not leaving-”

“Gibbs, we don’t have time for this. With any luck only a few wandered that way, if any. It’s the safest bet, that’s why I need you to take her, and Abby to safety.”

“Kate-”

“Look, we can do this. McGee and I, we got this. They need you.”

“Mom-”

“Use your knife, like I told you. You do as Gibbs says, okay?” Annalise nodded, fear in her eyes, but she clutched her knife tighter, “I love you.” Kate whispered as she pressed her lips to the young girl's forehead and once again, the group divided.

Noticing the split, the roamers simmered into smaller packs, only making it increasingly difficult for Kate and Tim to lure them away. Difficult, but not impossible, as Tim and Kate took each end, coaxing the Roamers around and toward the main entrance in which the group had entered through.

“Kate, what’s the plan?” Tim nervously uttered, backing back, his gun raised, as the horde stumbled toward them.

“We slip out the front, we don’t let too many out and we keep them locked in. That way, we can meet the others through the alley and exit the roamers came from.”

“Got it.”

They continued to move toward the entrance, making any noise they could to attract and entice them closer, keeping them on course.

* * *

 

Annalise kept close to Gibbs, her hand clutching his, with Abby following not far behind. They dodged stray roamers who had wandered from the group, and unexpectedly showing up at every turn, catching them off guard, throwing themselves around, moving like ragdolls, slow, but unpredictable. However, Kate was right, there weren't many that split off, and the majority of the hungry group were headed toward her instead, the very thought making Gibbs’ head fuzzy.

“Tony! Ziva!” Gibbs hissed quietly, flicking his flashlight on and off, using it as a signal.

“Over here!” Ziva called back, guiding Ducky and Tony toward the light.

They met in the middle, grouping together.

“Where’s Kate, McGee?” Tony asked, observing the absence of his friends.

“Roamers got in through the emergency exit, a lot of them… They’re leading them away." Gibbs gulped, unable to keep his mind from flashing worst case scenarios in his head.

“Well, what shall we do now?” Ducky piped up.

“We go through the exit they came in from, meet Kate and McGee out there.”

“And if they don’t arrive?”

Gibbs’ head snapped toward his old friend, his glare a warning, rising tension in everybody watching.

“They’ll be there.” He said sternly.

Ducky lowered his gaze, a lump in his throat, only hoping Gibbs were right.

“C’mon, we better go.” Gibbs said, grabbing Annalise’s hand again, raising his gun and leading the team toward the exit.

All of a sudden, a loud clang startled them all, and yet nothing came. Cautiously, Gibbs urged the them to keep moving.

Another crash from behind them only made them focus forward, and move faster; as fast as their feet could take them. Annalise jerked her head toward the noises, unable to keep her curiosity in, causing her to stumble over Gibbs’ feet and have them tumbling into one of the shelves, knocking several items to the floor.

The group paused. Tony winced at the noise the incident in front had caused, raising his flashlight and aiming it through the darkness toward where he was sure the roamers following him would soon emerge from.

Nothing but an undisturbed silence followed.

Regaining balance, Annalise sheepishly apologised to Gibbs. But a glare of warning never came, instead he stroked a hand over her head and gave her a reassuring smile. He couldn’t scold her, he couldn’t even give her his infamous stare, for the simple fact that she had the same, adorable frown Kate did.

They moved on, closer than ever to the pharmacy now, encountering very few roamers as they inched closer, only a few steps from the door.

Another bang came from behind them, and with Tony chancing a look, so did Ziva, then Ducky, until the entire team was stood staring into the beam of light gleaming from Tony’s flashlight.

“Tony, c’mon!”

“Wait a minute boss, something’s not right.”

“Let’s not stick around to find out. In!” He ordered, yanking the door with the blue X open, waiting behind them with Annalise right by his side.

No one expected it. Sure, they were ready for something, a handful of roamers, maybe. They were not prepared for a person, if it could be called that, sprinting toward them, bashing into the shelves on either side, bumping between them, similar to a pinball machine.

The door slammed shut, jammed by Gibbs’ body pinned against it, struggling to push away the weight of the aggressive roamer, stronger than he’d ever encountered before. He used his hands, pushing against the roamers chest, pressing his head and back as far as he could into the floor, writhing and hopeless beneath the abnormal strength the roamer with glowing eyes, and royal blue veins had.

From inside the room, Tony panicked, pushing the plastic bottles containing pills to the ground, banging free a section from the white, metal shelf and using it to smash the square window right next to the door.

Annalise had already interjected. The roamers jaw forcefully clamping down, almost grazing the skin on Gibbs’ cheek, until Annalise pushed on it’s back, causing a violent reaction as it swung its head toward her and took a chunk of flesh from her wrist. She screamed out in pain, clutching at the bite with her good arm. The roamer began to sprint toward her but it fell with a yelp, and a bullet fired from Gibbs’ gun to the head. It slumped at her feet, before it could lunge, and feast om the new victim.

Annalise locked terrified, painful eyes with Gibbs, and found that his were empty, and just as fearful as her own. There was ringing in her ears, and their panicked voices were nothing but faint echo's in her ear.

* * *

 

Immediately, despite very almost out the doors, Kate abandoned the plan. Hearing Annalise’s scream made her blood run to ice and her body numb; call it a mother's instinct, but she just _knew_. The last thing on her mind was her own safety, her only coherent thought was to get to Annalise as quickly as possible. She barged through eager hands and chattering teeth, toward the piercing screams. A roamer grabbed her, very almost biting her, but Tim was quick to interfere, shooting it dead.

“Go! I’ll finish up!” He told her, yelling for the hordes attention, hopeful that Kate would have an easy getaway if he distracted them enough.

Kate was quick on her feet, careful and smooth with her movements, as she slipped through them, ducking below swinging arms, her determination to reach Annalise stronger than the burning in her calves as she ran toward the frantic screams.

Tim opened the door, only to find they were closer than he first anticipated. There were just too many pushing against the glass for one person to hold. When one grabbed his arm and pulled him in he used his knife, driving it through the eye and pushing the roamer backward and away from him. He gave in, allowing the roamers to over power him and the doors to swing open. He abandoned the plan, stumbling away from the doors and glancing around, the screams had only caused more unwanted attention, with not only one, but now two separate herds closing in on him.

* * *

 

In the alley, Gibbs sat against the wall, holding Annalise in his arms, using his thumb to stroke reassuring circles on her cheek.

“Annalise! Ann! Stay with me. Come on.” He could see her eyes slowly drifting backward. The pain was excruciating, throbbing in her wrist, up her arm, and sending shooting pains through her chest. Her breathing was staggered, mere gasps from the depths of her painful chest as she choked for air.

“Mom needs you,” she gulped, crying out in pain once more before going limp in his arms.

He felt for a pulse, finding a very weak one he looked toward Ducky, unsure of what to do.

“She’s most likely passed out from the pain, I can’t do anything without the right equipment we need to get back, Jethro!”

“Not without Kate and McGee!” He returned his eyes to Ann, clutching her to him, kissing her head. “Hold on sweetheart,” he murmured.

“Ann!” Kate shrieked, rounding the corner, rushing toward them. “No, no, no, no,” she picked up her arm, inspecting the bite, tears already freely falling from her eyes.

“Kate-”

“How the hell- what the hell happened!”

“It was too fast, I couldn’t-”

“Give her to me.” She crouched down, hooking her arms under Annalise’s body, struggling to lift her.

“No, Kate. Let me- ”

“Just get away from her!” She screamed at him, lifting her from his grasp. On shaky legs, she began to walk out of the alley with Annalise in her arms.

The team stood helpless, silent and not knowing where to look, or what to do.

Tim rounded the corner on fast legs, panting and cutting the tension in the air. “I couldn’t hold them they’re coming!” His eyes shot to Kate, then Annalise, the situation becoming quickly evident to him. Guilt washed over him, his insecurities getting the better of him as he realised, without opening the door, the trip could have gone very differently, and a lot smoother.

“What do you mean you couldn’t hold them, McGee?” Tony spoke, expecting Gibbs to but it never came, he only stood silent, his vacant eyes fixed on Kate and Annalise.

“I’ll lead them away. Go!” He rummaged through his pockets and tossed the keys to the truck over to Tony.

“McGee, I can’t let you do that, not alone.”

“Get Ann back, get everyone to safety. This is my fault. I need to fix it.”

“McGee!” Ziva warned, "let me come with you."

"No." Tony and Tim said in unison.

“Tony, go! I mean it. Get out of here."

Tony nodded. He hesitantly lifted Annalise from Kate's arms, thankful that she let him, and carried her quickly toward where they left the truck, only around the corner from where they were.

Gibbs stopped with a hand on Tim’s shoulder. “Come back. That’s an order.”

“Got it, boss.” Tim replied, splitting from the group, leading the herd away from the road, stopping them from cutting the team off.

* * *

 

The team had all chipped in, hectically clearing a desk in the lab and laying Annalise on it. Ducky tended to her arm, wrapping it up in a bandage and giving her a low morphine dose for the pain she had passed out from.

Kate paced through he lab, running her hand through her hair, previously being scolded by both Ducky, and Abby for being in the way.

“You're not doing anything. Why isn't anyone doing anything? You have to help her.”

“Look…” Abby started, swallowing a lump in her throat, “it’s not just something you can fix.”

Kate turned her attention toward Gibbs, “You said you’d look after her!” She closed in on him, similar to the way he did whilst intimidating suspects.

“You left her with me, Kate!"

“Yeah, and clearly that was a bad idea," she spat angrily. "I shouldn't have come here. Not here. Not with her. Not to you.”

“Well you did, Kate, and without us you’d both be-”

“Dead? Well she’s close to it, Gibbs!” She choked out, shoving her palms into his chest, pushing him away from her. “I need to know what happened.

"She pushed it, she pushed it and it was too fast it just... it attacked her."

"Why would she put herself in danger like that? She's so careful." Kate questioned, her mind racing back and forth.

“To save me… She saved me.” He swallowed. Kate broke eye contact, lowering her eyes and scratching at her neck agitatedly.

“Why are you taking her blood again?” Kate furrowed her brow, so caught up in questioning Gibbs that she hadn't noticed beforehand.

Abby spoke, “to run it again, the virus, it’s in her system now, we can understand it better.”

“My daughter is not a test subject.” She spat hastily.

“This isn’t Abby’s fault, Caitlin, it’s the right thing to do.”

Kate fell back into the chair, “sorry, Abs.” She glanced toward Annalise as she began to wake again, her lashes fluttering as she opened her eyes.

“Mom?” Annalise's voice was shaky whisper.

Kate was by her side quicker than a heartbeat, clutching Annalise’s hand in hers; it was ice cold to touch, and her veins were a dark royal blue against her pale, freckly skin.

“I’m here.”

“I’m scared, mom.”

Kate bit her lip, slamming her eyes shut as she held back tears. “I know baby,” she breathed, looking at her again, “I know.”

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, Ann.”

“I’m sorry.” She gave her a weak smile, a few, stray tears rolling down her face and splashing on the desk beneath her.

“Hey, don’t apologise.”

Annalise opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She gulped, clearing her dry throat, the room spinning around Kate. “It’s a sign of weakness.” She mumbled.

“That’s my girl.” Kate dabbed away the beads of sweat from Annalise’s forehead with a paper towel, and replaced it with her lips. Once again, her skin was ice cold beneath Kate's lips.

Annalise started to convulse, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. Kate jerked backward as blood began to spew from the corner Annalise's mouth.

“Turn her onto her side and hold her down!” Ducky shouted, elbowing his way through the team, wiping away the blood with a cloth.

The unmistakeable sound of a gun being cocked jerked everyone’s attention toward Kate, who had her gun pointed toward Annalise.

“It's starting." She stated, watching on with difficulty.

“Kate,” Gibbs’ voice was raspy, and he approached her slowly, “you don’t have to do this.”

“She’s not becoming a monster Gibbs, I know what the transition is like, I’ve seen it. It’s painful, it’s ugly, and she sure as hell doesn't deserve that.”  She sobbed, but her voice was harsh, her hand visibly shaking.

“You don’t have to be the one to do it.” He kept his voice calm, it was an offer, that much was clear to her.

“Yes, I do. Get out of my way.”

Gibbs didn’t need to be asked twice, he only sighed, and walked away; unable to watch the scene about to unfold before him. He slammed his hand angrily into the wall, tears brimming in his eyes, already blaming himself for the ordeal, wishing he'd have been the one at the receiving end of Kate's bullet.

Tony's hand slipped into Ziva's, a comforting gesture. She leaned into him, looking away from the scene. She had seen a lot of things in her time as a Mossad officer and an NCIS Agent, but this, she just couldn't bear to watch.

As the severe shaking stopped, Annalise fell limp again. Ducky checked for a pulse, unable to find one he shook his head slowly and stepped away to comfort a distraught Abby.

A strangled sob choked out from Kate’s very core, her chest twisting and knotting, aware she only had a few more seconds to react before Ann would wake with no human memory, only a violent rage in her once soft eyes, and she'd no longer be her little girl. 

She took a deep breath and eased her trembling finger onto the trigger. Taking a few moments to steady her hand, she centred her aim at Annalise’s forehead.

Lashes fluttered upward and ocean blue met caramel coffee.

“Mom?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Hopeless Light**

* * *

 “Ann's blood is awesome! It works as a natural antibody by tricking the virus, it’s nothing like I’ve ever seen before.”

“Tricking it how, Abby?” Ducky asked, keeping his focus glued to Annalise as he checked her heart rate.

“Okay, so when I ran Ann’s blood the first time, I noticed that her red blood cells hadn’t all formed properly, which is most likely what that medicine is for.”

“What does that tell us, Abs?”

“Patience, Gibbs.”

“Not in the mood.” He grumbled, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back against the wall.

Abby sighed, “The virus has to attack the blood, it’s the only explanation to Ann not being a roamer or dead… sorry-” she glanced sheepishly toward Kate but she waved her hand, the only way she could reassure her it was okay to continue whilst still deep in thought.

“How did you come to that conclusion, Abigail?” Again, Ducky didn’t turn to face her, shining his flashlight in Annalise’s eyes to check her reaction.

“The virus thickens the blood, like, really fast, similar to something you would see from a snake bite. With Ann’s blood, it doesn’t, the virus is in her bloodstream, but her red blood cells are already too misshaped so they just, ignore them, and flow as if they belong there. I mean, they’ll make her sick, but that’s about it.”

“So she’s going to be okay?” Kate asked hopefully, still trying to wrap her head around the information she had just received. She had been unable to look at Annalise ever since she opened her eyes, too guilty, after being caught with a gun pointed directly at her face.

“By the looks of things, she should be fine, but Ducky’s the doctor, I can just tell you about her blood.”

“She looks remarkably healthy to me, Caitlin. Good response to light, ordinary heart rate, her temperature is slightly little high, but it’s not too much to worry about. As for the extraordinarily blue veins I can't be too sure… How are you feeling, my dear?”

“Dizzy,” Annalise spoke slowly, swallowing, “kinda tired.”

“It’s to be expected. Get some rest, dear. I think that’s a good idea for everyone.”

Ducky left her side, disposing of his gloves and taking a seat, drained from the events the day had presented them with.

Kate stopped pacing, lifting her head and pausing, her eyes widened as realisation hit her.

“That’s it… that’s-” Kate took a deep breath, running her hand through her hair, exasperated. “That’s why they made her… I knew it was something I couldn’t work out what until now… They know, they know she’s immune to it that’s why they want her, that’s why they made her.”

“You mean to tell me she was made to be a test subject?” Gibbs stepped in, it was the first time he’d spoken to her since Annalise had woken.

“Yes. It didn’t make sense, I couldn’t piece it together but I understand it now, why they used her like she was disposable.”

Through her wandering as she spoke, she ended up protectively at Annalise's side, taking her into her arms and holding her firmly to her chest. She whispered many forms of an apology in her hair. Annalise was too groggy and drained to reply, but Kate accepted the kiss on her cheek as forgiveness.

“If you do not mind me asking, who is her father?” Ziva was curious, trying to understand where Annalise had come from, and where Kate had been for all these years.

* * *

  _Kate slammed her fist down on the blue, uncomfortable hospital bed. “I want to know who it is," she demanded._

_“It’s not important.”_

_“Yes, it is, David, I don’t care what important genes he has, is there even an option?”_

_David sighed defeatedly, “A few, yes. And the genes are the most important part."_

_“I want the options. Otherwise you can find someone else.” She hopped off the bed, heading for the door._

_“Wait!” Kate paused, turning toward him. “Change out of the gown. I’ll have the files in my office when you get back. You can choose.”_

_Kate gave him a sharp nod, and exited the room._

_She entered David's office slowly, glancing at the three files spread across the desk, waiting for her arrival. She reached out her hand to pick one up, but his rough hand on her wrist stopped her. Her head snapped up to glare at him, jerking her hand away._

_“Only three people have what is needed, Kate.” He explained carefully, leaning forward, propping his elbows in his desk._

_She half-shrugged, "It’s still nice to have options.”_

_“If you insist.” He lifted the first file, flipping it open, and revealing a picture of a black haired man, with fair skin, and the darkest eyes she’s ever seen; so dark the colour blended with his pupils. “A: Adam Keats. 36 years old. Working as a Mossad officer currently.”_

_Shook her head, “No," she refused without a second thought. "No one from Mossad.”_

_“Don’t be so quick to judge.”_

_“Not after Ari. I don’t need time to think, I know in my gut.”_

_“I understand.” He pushed the file to one side, picking up the second. “B: Gerald Morton. 34 years old, a defence lawyer.” He opened the file, revealing a handsome, dark skinned man, with bright green eyes._

_“What’s his deal?”  She said expectantly._

_“Nothing, really…”_

_Kate eyed him suspiciously, sensing something was off. “Tell me.”_

_He groaned, “we were recently informed from anonymous sources that he was participating in illegal, large sum transactions. We found it to be true.”_

_She tutted, crossing her arms over her chest, and taking the seat across from him. "Great. Who’s the third? Bin Laden?”_

_“Funny.” He rolled his eyes, obviously accustomed to Kate’s sarcasm. “This one, may be a problem in other ways…” He opened the file, out of sight from her, and then threw it back onto the desk so it landed in front of her._

_David spoke carefully and slowly, "Leroy Jethro Gibbs.”_

_“Gibbs-” She sucked in a breath, her mouth falling open, staring at his picture. Her teeth sunk into her lower lip, an action, she hoped, would mask the quivering._

_“Yes. I’m aware you already know him, and have… a history. Ari, mentioned how he laid roses where you supposedly died… touching, really.”_

_She clamped her teeth together, agitated. “He- was my boss, and only my boss. Ari was obsessed, jealous of Gibbs.” Her face contorted, she gulped down the lump in her throat._

_David stayed unconvinced. "You wanted options, here they are.”_

_She scoffed, “these are hardly options. A Mossad officer, a criminal, and my former boss."_

_“Adam is clean. Your judgement is clouded because of Ari and his screw-ups.”  He challenged, a hint of a warning in his voice._

_“Beating me until I was barely alive? Sexual Assault? And all he gets branded as is a screw up?" Kate almost laughed. Almost. "Typical.”_

_“My point exactly, your judgement is affected by your experiences. These are the only options."_

_Kate took a gulp, pushing her hair away from her face frustratedly as she scanned over the open files on his desk. She closed one, and stood, scraping her chair across the floor with a little more force than was necessary. She ran her fingers over the paper folder before she lifted it and shoved it into his hands._

_He watched her leave without a second word, and opened the file to see who she had chosen._

_He snickered, and read aloud, “Leroy Jethro Gibbs.”_

* * *

 The team stood with their mouths open, struck with the shocking news that Annalise was half of Gibbs. Their attention locked on Kate. 

Gibbs was the first to speak, and Kate was relatively thankful he did, after moments of agonising silence.

“I’m- she’s mine?”

“She’s not your daughter," she spoke quickly, "you’re nothing but a sperm donor.”

“But she’s mine?” He questioned firmly, making it clear exactly what he was asking.

“Biologically,” she hung her head, “yes.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me that?” He rose his voice, his face becoming red as his anger built.

“Oh, sure!” She shrieked, adding a chime to her voice to emphasise her sarcasm. “Hi, Gibbs, surprise, I’m not dead! Also, just another little detail, we have a daughter together.” 

“I would have understood!”

“Bullshit!” She shouted, shoving her index finger into his shoulder. “When you found out I was alive, you shoved a gun in my daughter's face, what would you have done if I told you?” She spat.

His eyes were cold as they bore into hers, but his voice softened, “I wouldn’t hurt her.”

Kate held up her hands and backed away. She knew he wouldn’t. “I need some space.”

Gibbs went after her in a hurry, following her up the stairs and into the bullpen, thankful that it was secure from roamers since he’d found Annalise. Her back was to him but she knew he was there, she could feel his presence, a forceful energy that never failed to send shivers down her spine.

“For almost twelve years, I felt nothing.” Her voice was close to a whisper, and she hugged her arms around herself. His eyes burned into her back, unsure what to say and thankful when she started talking again. “I love Ann, she’s what I lived for, how I survived for so long. In spite of that, I felt nothing else.”

She turned slowly to him, tears pooling in her lids, and spilling over onto her cheeks. “And you…” She said it with a sharp sting as she faced him. “You messed that all up. Now, I feel everything.” Much to her dismay, her voice cracked. Dipping her head, she took a few, shallow breaths before she began speaking again. “Feeling nothing but what I programmed myself to, to feeling everything in only a couple of days. Do you have any idea what that’s like? How terrifying that is?”

“Kate-” he reached out to her, unsure of what to say, he rested his palm on her cheek hoping the gesture would speak the words he couldn't find. For a moment, she leaned into his touch, her eyes involuntarily closing. Fighting against what every part of her screamed she wanted, she shook her head away from his hand.

“No!” She hissed through gritted teeth, taking a few steps backward and away from him. “I hate you.” She whimpered, standing limp as streaky tears stained her flushed cheeks.

“No, you don’t.” Gibbs said, keeping monotone, and taking a step toward her. He reached out his hand to hold hers, brushing small circles over the back of it with his thumb. “That’s the problem, isn’t it?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to look at him, aware she was an open book in front of him and he already knew every intricate detail within.

“Isn’t it?” He pressed gently.

She nodded without opening her eyes.

“What am I to you, Kate?”

“You-” her eyelashes flickered open as delicately as a butterfly’s wing, and her eyes stuck to his. “You are every hope- every single prayer I’ve made over the past 12 years in human form. That’s why I have to go.”

His face fell. “Go?”

“It’s the only way to keep everyone safe. Ann and I survived okay before, we can do it again.”

“You don’t have to go.”

“Yes… Yes I do.”

“Kate, it's not safe out there, you saw what happened today and that was with all of us.”

“You don’t get it, Gibbs!” She pulled her hand from his, turning her back to him again.

“Then tell me, God, Kate!" He looked on with defeated eyes, his arms slumping by his side. "Let me in.”

Apprehensively, she faced him again. “If it was out of you or her I don’t know who I’d choose to save anymore. When I was about to shoot her, I couldn’t help but think, at least it wasn’t you. What kind of a mother does that make me?”

Her comment rendered him speechless, suddenly empty of coherent thoughts.

“I can’t have my judgement divided like that, I need to keep her safe.”

“You’re not leaving me, Kate. Not again.” Something in his tone made it sound more like a plea than anything else.

“I can’t stay.” It was a whisper filled with apologies, and it cracked with every staggered breath.

He could hear his heart hammering at his ribs, racing against the clock where time was against him. “Ann’s in no shape to leave.” He was holding on to anything he could to get her to stay, anything that didn't involve falling to his knees, hugging her middle and begging her not to leave him again.

“I’ll wait until she’s better and then I’m gone…”

“I don’t- I don’t know what to say.” His usual fluent words stuttered, broken apart.

“There’s nothing you can say.” She assured him, an attempt at making him feel better. It didn't.

“Goodbye?” He suggested.

Kate brought her hand up to cup his face, tiptoeing to match his height. “With you, it’s never goodbye. It’s just…” She frowned, grazing her thumb over his cheek, “until we find a way.”

He gulped nervously, and yet his features stayed relaxed. His eyes flickered away from hers, and down to her lips. In the low light, in the small distance between them, she looked tempting beautiful. He couldn't resist moving a little closer, before gaining more confidence and moving in, his lips hovering above hers as he searched her eyes for any sign of hesitance. He found none.

She was the one to close the gap between them. He responded soon after she crashed her lips to his, kissing him like he was her life support, tasting him for the one, and only time she could. He tasted sad: salty tears meeting her taste buds as she ran her tongue over his smooth lips. His hands were cupping both her cheeks, his fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her in closer to deepen the kiss. He welcomed her tongue, opening his mouth and letting his own meet hers; strong, yet tender as he lost himself in her lips.

They kissed until they couldn't breathe, and pulled apart slowly, reluctantly. He rested his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed and his breathing heavy.

"Stay," he whispered, his warm breath tickling her still tingling lips.

She winced, her eyes fluttering open to meet his. "Gibbs-"

"Please" His voice cracked, he sounded desperate, hopeful, even.

She sighed deeply, her hand on his chest as she leaned away from him a little more, and ducked her head.

"I can't, Gibbs. For her."

His chest heaved, and he gulped down the lump he could feel slowly, but surely, forming in his throat.

"What about you, Kate?"

"She's my priority." She forced her words, unwilling to change her mind, well aware that her decisions were solely based on the guilt that churned within her stomach.

"And you're mine."

"I'm sorry, Gibbs." She took a step back from him, turned and walked away, heading back to the stairwell that led to the lab.

Kate cursed herself for looking back; the hurt evident on his face. He looked fragile, like at any minute he might break, she could see his eyes brimming with tears. "I'm so sorry." She whispered, her breath catching in her throat.

His vacant eyes were fixed on where she once stood and he kept painfully silent, swallowing the words he wished he could find the energy to say. He found himself grounded, his jaw clenched, and he cocked his head to the side; the ghost of her lips branded on his. He had a rawness in the pit of his stomach, a faint longing, a hope, if you will, for her to swivel round, flash him that smile that made something inside him leap, and tell him she was staying wherever he was. She didn't. Only, her absence left him with the realisation that it was her, and it always had been. 

The epiphany came a heartbeat too late and once again, he had lost her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hopeless Light**

* * *

 Static, panting, gasps of breath. Heaving lungs, tightening and crushing, cutting off a normal air supply. Tim had his back pressed firmly against a closed door he’d just ran through, cutting off the roamers. He had been running for what felt like hours, and maybe it was, he thought, when the sky started to fade to orange he realised he had to find a place for the night; quickly, and without a group of them following him.

He’d slipped passed more than half of them: losing them through side streets, taking a corner before them and hiding on rooftops, and under trucks as they passed by. He had just lost the last of them, he’d hoped, and yet he realised whilst so engrossed in losing them, he now found himself lost, in the middle of nowhere, with handfuls of roamers scattered around like a blind game of minesweeper.

He caught his breath eventually, standing straighter. Until, something caught his eye, a shimmer, a glint, the winter sun bouncing from something to the left of him. He squinted, intrigued, and with a frown on his face, he moved toward the large, blue X painted on the shutter of a lock up. The chemical smell of paint filled the air as he got closer, and found that it was still wet, with the blue transferring onto his index finger. He scowled, wiping the paint from his fingers to his shirt.

By letting his guard down he became a target, and the violent, running, infested ‘person’, grabbed him with force, causing him to tumble into the shutter with a bang. Pinned against the shutter, and the paint, he struggled with the unnaturally strong roamer, reaching for his knife that was looped through his belt, he couldn't quite reach it.

One. Two gun shots. One hit the chest, the other the back of the head. The roamer shrieked and slumped against him, before being dragged from him by a woman who, at first impressions, looked forty-something years old, with a messy mop of dirty blonde curls on her head, covered in a red bandana with grey peeking through the sides of her ponytail.

With wide eyes, Tim gasped for the breath that had been knocked from him. “Thanks.” He breathed out, looking from the dead roamer to the woman who’d just rescued him.

She sighed, “well, it came at a price.” Her accent was different, but she spoke quickly and so Tim couldn’t pin down exactly what it was. She crouched down, swinging off her backpack and pulling out a small tin of blue paint, and a paint brush, she began to re-paint the smudged, blue X.

“That was you? I saw one in the grocery store too.”

She glanced round, “you’re smarter than you look, son.” She sarcastically commented. “What’s your name?”

“Timothy. Uh- Tim.”

“Well, Timothy. Uh- Tim,” she teased,  “I’m Suzanne.” She poured some of her water over the paintbrush to remove the excess paint, and placed it back into her bag, along with the pot. “Want some?” She offered her water, and he took it hesitantly, taking a few sips before handing it back to her.  

“Thank you.”

She straightened her posture, hoisting her backpack onto her shoulders again. “Are you out here alone?”

“No. Well- yes, technically.”

She rolled her eyes. “Do you ever give a straight answer?”

“Yes. I’m here alone.” Tim spoke firmer, “I have a team though.”

“A team? How many?”

“Seven. You?”

“None. I’m on my own and I have been since I lost my son, and my wife.” She lowered her head, reminiscing the painful memories.

“I’m sorry…” He trailed off timidly.

Suzanne checked the bullets in her gun, “they’re not dead. A group cut us off, and not a group of droolers either. These were people. I caused a diversion, Lizzie took Noah and ran.”

“And now you’re trying to find them?”

She clipped her gun shut. “Yeah. I’m headed toward the coast, it’s where we were going before we split.” She eyed him, “I suppose we could stick together," she looked toward the orange sky, "we should find shelter, it’s dangerous at night.”

“You’re right. They’re all bunching together. Do you know anywhere safe?”

Suzanne thought for a moment, eyeing Tim, his suit, and the black, NCIS jacket he was wearing, before deciding he wasn’t a threat. “I’m running low on supplies, so for the moment I’m gathering some before I move on. I’ve been staying in an RV, it’s tucked away, not too far down the river.”

“An RV! Does it run?”

“No.” She said simply, and tilted her head toward the setting sun. “We really do need to start moving now.”

They walked together, keeping their knees bent, something Suzanne had instructed whilst passing a handful of roamers, a way in which to keep their steps silent, and undetected. It worked, they slipped passed without much trouble, and now they were hopping into the RV. They scouted it first, just to be sure no roamer, or person, had wandered onto it. When they were sure it was clear, Suzanne threw down her backpack, and lowered herself into the worn seat.

She retrieved two cans of beans from a little hatch under the seat, and threw him one.  

Tim caught it. “I thought you said you were running low on food?”

She opened the can, spooning out the contents hungrily. “I am. But you look like you haven’t eaten in awhile. So eat.”

He opened his can, taking a spoon from the side and sitting opposite her, their knees almost touching in the small RV. “Thanks.”

“So, Timid Timothy,” she swallowed. “Why were you out here alone, if you have seven people in your group?”

“I am not timid, I’m cautious.” She shrugged, smiling a little. “We were all trying to find supplies, food is low for us too, with there being so many of us.”

“Friends, family?”

“Co-workers. We worked together at NCIS, that’s Naval Criminal Investigative Service, but yeah, I guess it’s more like a family.”

“What happened?”

“We were at a grocery store, and split up, the pharmacy looked untouched so I went in but, it was a big mistake because a group of them came from nowhere. Me and a woman called Kate, we were leading them away whilst the others went out the back, we were almost there when we heard her daughter scream. I told her I’d lead them away, and she should go.”

Resting the now empty can on the floor, Suzanne leaned back in the chair, her eyebrows risen. “I’m impressed.”

“I haven’t finished the story yet.” Tim sighed, finishing off the rest of his food. “Anyway, I couldn’t hold them by myself. I met the rest of the group behind the store but Ann, Kate’s daughter, had been bitten. I lead off the group from there, whilst they headed back.”

“That’s terrible.” She offered her sympathy. “Look, you’ve been through a lot. I’ll help you get back to them tomorrow.”

“You would?”

She nodded firmly.

“But, if anything, I owe you. You saved my life today. Which brings me to my next points. What’s with the blue X’s? The one on the shutter, and I saw one inside the store.”

“These… things, it’s a virus. The strain created is called X, original, I know. When you were attacked, did you notice the bright blue veins? That’s where the virus develops itself, in deoxygenated blood, it becomes stronger, in turn, making them stronger. It turns the veins a deeper blue, hence the blue X.”

“What does it mean?”

“It’s a code, to myself, and hopefully to anyone who understands it, like Lizzie, for instance." She shifted her weight, bringing her legs up to lay back on the sofa. “The more blue X’s you find in a five mile radius, means the more of the stronger one’s I’ve seen in the area. I’ve managed to scatter them around a good few locations now. Find more than six in one town, it usually means get as far away as you can, and fast.”

“Well, how are they stronger?” Tim ran a hand over his face, thoughts racing through his mind: whether or not the team got back safe, how Kate was dealing with Ann's death, hell, if Ann had even died yet, there was still so much they didn't know about the virus.

“Besides physically? They can see incredibly well in the dark, not so well in the light, it appears to hurt them, as if they are sensitive to it, and unlike the drifters, they run, I’ve seen them hoist themselves over fences taller than me without so much as a stumble.”

“How do you know so much about this?”

“I’m a scientist, Lizzie and I worked together, we worked on X for some time, it was believed to be the start of a cure for many types of blood diseases, and blood cancers. The start of something special. Evidently, the plan fell through. Be it deliberately, or accidentally, I didn't stay long enough to find out after it escalated. I knew it was too much when even the military couldn’t handle it.”

“Well, it makes sense why you didn’t stay. You had a family to protect.” He winced, “have. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She turned onto her side, closing her eyes. “Sleep. We both need it.”

Tim nodded, and laid down on the sofa opposite her, closing his eyes and praying sleep would overtake his tired body, and mind, soon.

* * *

 For the most part, the room had been silent since sunset, everyone was drained from the events of the day, emotionally, and physically. Dehydrated, hungry, and no one was quite sure of what to say after Kate told them she would be leaving in the morning. Of course, they protested, convincing her to stay anyway they could, assuring her that there’s safety in numbers, but Kate wouldn’t listen. She’d been distant ever since she’d been singled out and quite frankly, pissed off because of it.

There were various mentions of Tim, but Gibbs let his iron gates down just enough to reassure the team that Tim was smart, and capable, and knowing of the dangers that lurk in the dark, especially now in this new world. Abby kicked up one hell of a stink about it, ordering Gibbs to go and find him if he wasn't back by morning. He, and the team, agreed.

Gibbs adjusted the bulky flashlight, (the one typically used by the team for scouting dark fields) after Annalise had complained about how it was hurting her eyes for the eighth time, giving him facts about how it's bad for your eyesight to be in direct light constantly, especially in such a small space.

“Ya happy now, sunshine?” He rolled his eyes half-heartedly, and plonked himself down beside her on the futon that was spread across the floor, leaning against the desk.

“Much.” She said smugly, with a cheeky grin on her face.

“Hand me that bag.” He nodded over to where it was a little further than arm's-length away.

She groaned dramatically but obliged, and crawled from under the blanket to grab it for him.

He dug around and removed a sweater from it, plopping it over her head. She laughed and slipped her arms through it, careful not to pull off the tape holding the on the bandage that covered the bite mark.

“It sore?” He asked, observing as she winced.

“Kinda.” She shrugged, rolling up the sleeves that were almost double her arm length.

He lowered his voice, leaning in closer to her. “Why’d you do it? You know, your mom is pretty pissed. I'd rather have been bitten than have Kate Todd pissed off at me.” He glanced over to where Kate sat across the room, her eyes fixed on a small journal she was jotting in.

Annalise chewed the inside of her cheek, shrugging her shoulders, and picked at the skin around her nails.

“Ann.” He tilted his head, his narrowed eyes twitching quizzically.

“I know she puts me before her and if you died, I know she wouldn’t be okay…” She mumbled, her voice barely audible.

“C’mere.” He lifted his arm for Annalise to slide under it, and rest into his side, as a lump formed in her throat and tears threatened to fall from her lashes. “Thank you, sunshine.” He pressed a loving kiss to her head, "but I'd much rather ya stayed alive." He felt her head shake as she laughed into their half-hug.

“The shadow, kinda looks like a cat." She explained.

“You know how to do shadow puppets?” He asked, sitting up a little straighter.

She frowned, looking up at him. “Nope.”

“So there actually is something you don't know how to do? I'm amazed.” She glared at him, you know, that glare that Kate was almost famous for. He chuckled, “I’ll show ya, it’s not hard.”

He lifted his hands, and without a second thought, a shadow of a frog appeared on the wall opposite them.

“Cool!" She grinned, "show me how?”

He held her wrists gently as she attempted to mimic the position of his hands. “No, like this.” He twisted her hand a little, tilted them, and soon enough a smaller replica of the frog he had previously made appeared on the wall.

She shot a goofy smile over to Kate, who smiled back weakly as she watched the bittersweet scene unfold before her, the two most important people in her life interacting in a way she’d only dreamed they would. She regretted the lost time, and depriving Annalise of the childhood she deserved with a father who cared for her, not the one she received, filled with fear, and pain.

Kate, so engrossed in watching the two of them, hadn’t noticed Ziva come to sit beside her until her distinct voice dragged Kate back to reality.

“You know, I have never seen Gibbs like this. Usually, he is a functional mute.”

Kate’s laughter was released as a shaky exhale. “Yeah, he was like that back then too, so, I guess not much has changed around here.”

“Kate, if you don’t mind me speaking the honest truth?”

“Go ahead.” Kate turned her attention back to Gibbs and Annalise, where Annalise laughed a little harder when he made a funny voice, and showed her how to make a giraffe.

“He has lost himself entirely in you.”

Kate’s head snapped toward her. “What?”

“I did not know you, Kate, but I knew enough from stories. Your death affected him greatly.”

“I made a family here, I’m sure it was hard on the whole team.” Kate was quick to brush off her comment, feeling her cheeks burn a little as they tinted pink.

“Maybe. You should know, he would not let me sit at your desk for months. He lay roses down where you were killed.”

Kate furrowed her brows, her eyes glazing over. She felt her heart knock against her ribs with a little more strength than usual. “Gibbs? He did?” She shook her head in disbelief, “I’m not that woman on that roof anymore. I don’t know who I am.”

“You will find yourself," Ziva paused, and looked over toward Gibbs, "maybe in him. Do not ruin something that most people will never get, especially a second chance at. After all, Gibbs does not believe in coincidences.”

Kate gulped nervously, “life without him terrifies me.” Her eyes were glassy, and she was no longer able to look at him.

Ziva patted Kate’s leg, “fight for what matters to you.” She told her, before moving back to her place between Tony and Abby.

Kate chewed on her lip, watching her go, lost in thought until she turned her attention back to her journal.

The funny voices from across the room had stopped, and the flashlight had since been switched off. Annalise had settled down for the night, her head resting just beside Gibbs’ lap, with his jacket balled up under her head for a makeshift pillow.

“Gibbs?” Annalise whispered.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want to go.” The crack in her voice caused an a dull ache in his chest, and he looked over toward Kate, where he could only just make out the shape of her face through the darkness.

“I know.” He whispered back, stroking a reassuring hand over the top of Annalise’s head.

* * *

 Another restless night passed by. Gibbs heard Kate sniffling, the room was too quiet not to. It blended with Tony’s snoring, and Ducky’s uncomfortable shuffling, but he could hear it loud and clear, and it bothered him greatly. He watched her for the entirety of the night, her back rising and falling in such a manner that he knew she was crying, even when it sounded like nothing but deep breathing.

“Come on, Ann. We have to start moving now.” Kate's voice was sharp through the morning air. Ann had latched onto Gibbs’ waist about ten minutes ago, her tears dampening his shirt.

He dropped a kiss on top of her head, stroking her hair. “Go on, sunshine.” He whispered, crouching down a little to match her height. “You stay safe, okay? Take care of your mom.” He kept his voice soft, and his eyes even softer as he looked over her frowning face.

Her face scrunched, but she nodded. “I will.”

He lowered his voice, “that’s my brave girl. Go.”

She reluctantly backed away, returning to Kate’s side where she flinched away from her reassuring touch. Kate sighed, running a frustrated hand through her hair, and shoving the rest of Annalise’s medicine, bullets, a few extra knives, food, and bottles of water, that the team were generous enough to spare, into her backpack, before swinging it on.

“Caitlin, where will you go?” Ducky asked, worriedly. “That sweet girl, she’s been through enough.”

“Ducky,” she scowled, “she’s the reason I’m leaving. To keep her, and everyone else, safe. It’s the only way.”

It was Tony’s turn to add to the conversation, “Kate, Ducky’s got a point, where are you going with her?”

Kate shrugged, “I know a few places. The coast seems safe, away from the city. Tell Tim I said goodbye.” Tony sighed defeatedly, her tone of voice telling him there was no possible argument to change her mind.

“You can’t make people care and then just leave. The Kate I knew wouldn’t do that.” Abby crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

“Maybe. I’m sorry, Abby.”

“Just… take care of yourself and Annalise, because she’s like, really awesome.”

“I will.”

Kate’s eyes travelled upward to meet Gibbs’, and she cleared her throat. “I- Um. Thank you. For the food, and the water.”

He gave her nothing more than a sharp nod, and then averted his eyes back to Annalise, where she still wore his NIS sweater, and it fell too large on her, but he wanted to leave her with something to remember him by, for both of them to.

“Come on, Ann. We’ll take the stairs up.” Kate took Annalise’s hand, guiding her through the doors and to the stairwell.

As she walked away from home, she was far too ashamed of herself to look back. Kate tightened her grip on Annalise’s hand, an action, she hoped, would stop her own from shaking. It did not. Though, she was thankful for one thing, since their kiss, that of which she could still feel dancing on her lips, he hadn’t tried to change her mind.

Gibbs watched them leave, peeking through the gap in the covered windows of the lab, unable to believe that Kate was leaving again, hand in hand with Annalise, without a second look back.

From the early morning, with the sky still pink, through to the afternoon, where the clouds hung heavy, and dull. The patter of raindrops on the small windows seemed excruciatingly louder than they would have, if only someone, _anyone_ had more than coughed in the last hour. The odd, melancholy feeling in the room blended delicately with the gloomy shadows the weather cast over Gibbs' face. With vacant eyes he blinked, which did nothing but enhance the water swirling in his sad, deep blues. She was gone- no, she was gone _again_ , and in a world in which he was certain survival would not come easy. Admittedly, he was terrified. He was accustomed to a cruel world in which he had previously witnessed many massacres, explosions, his friends dying in his arms, and having to stand up and carrying on fighting, carry on _surviving._ Somehow, he doubted himself, and his ability to see his friends, his family, die in front of him. A strong urge surged through him, and his heart raced, an overwhelming need to protect everyone sitting silently, and numbly around him. An even stronger itch in the very pit of his stomach, that came with the realisation that he once again, would not be able to protect Kate.

“Gibbs-” Ziva's voice dragged his spiralling thoughts.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, a deep sigh escaping him. “What?” He snapped bitterly, a severe contrast to Ziva’s soft, comforting voice.

“I have a feeling Kate left this for you.” She shoved a crumbled, piece of paper into his hand, and grabbed a bottle of water on her way to comfort a worried Abby.

Gibbs unscrewed it, his breath hitching in his throat as he read the words Kate had scratched into the paper only last night.

_Gibbs, consider adding this to your list of ridiculous rules._

_Number: god knows how many you’ve invented by now_

_‘Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to keep the people you care for safe.’_

_I can’t lose you._

_Kate x_

“Gibbs!”

The entire room’s attention snapped to where Tim was standing with Suzanne following closely behind.

“McGee! How the hell did you get in here?” Gibbs demanded, promptly climbing to his feet, he looked over to Abby, "did you close the shutter?”

“Of course, Gibbs!” She was at Tim’s side in an instant, hugging him tightly.

Tim hugged her back, “Hey, Abs,” he murmured, and used that time to catch his breath. “Through the back, the fences are down, so are the shutters, I thought something had happened.”

“That back was locked, McGee! We haven’t used it since this whole thing started.”

“No, boss, we had to fight off about ten roamers just to get in here.”

“And that wasn’t all of them, you are a lucky bunch, considering they haven’t broken in here by now.” Suzanne added, holding up her hands when Gibbs’ hand shot to his holstered gun. “My name is Suzanne.” She explained.

“Boss,” Tim stepped closer, “she’s okay. She saved me yesterday, she’s only looking for her wife and son.”

Gibbs nodded, dropping his stance, but kept cautious eyes on her.

Tim scoped the room, “where’s Kate?”

Gibbs clutched the piece of paper in his hands a little tighter, without responding, so Tony answered instead.

“She uh-” he looked from Gibbs to Tim, “She left with Ann.”

“Ann? Ann’s alive? Wasn’t she attacked by one?”

“She’s immune!” Abby blurted, “you should have seen her blood, McGee! It was incredible, actually, you can probably still have a look at it, I wrote a report-”

“I’m sorry to intrude, but a girl got bitten, and she didn’t turn into one of them?” Suzanne piped up, stepping a little closer.

“Caitlin Todd.” Ducky spoke. “Kate, her young daughter was bitten by one of the foul things. It was remarkable, it looked as though she was going to become one, she became sick, she even started to convulse, until she opened her eyes, and spoke, as though nothing had happened.”

“Can I see her blood?” Suzanne’s voice was urgent now, maybe even a little excited.

“I know the world has ended and all, but I do not let strange women use my equipment!” Abby stepped between Suzanne, and her computer.

“Abs, let her use it.”

“Gibbs!” She protested.

“Abby!”

Abby stepped aside, allowing Suzanne to take a look at her findings.

“Can I ask, why you’d like to see the results?” Ducky asked politely, peering over her shoulder.

She read the screen whilst she talked. “If there is a case of immunity, this little girl is vital to finding an anti-dote, maybe even a cure. Did she have any symptoms, prominent blue veins, sensitivity to light, anything?”

Ducky thought for a moment. “Not that I recall, no.”

Suzanne scowled under her breath, clicking through the results, and the report Abby had written when she was extremely bored the previous night, _just to be thorough._ N o one had the heart to stop her, everything was holding onto something from the normal world, it wouldn’t have been fair to take that from her.

“Last night,” Gibbs began to speak, his voice low, and scratchy, “she complained about the flashlight being too bright, I didn’t think anything of it until you said sensitivity to light.”

“Gibbs, right?” She waited for his nod of confirmation before continuing. “For the sake of anyone who has manages to survive somehow, we have to find this little girl, and fast. Ann, you said her name was? She is like the light at the end of the tunnel, but if we don’t find her, it’s just a hopeless light.”

“What about your wife, and your son?”

Suzanne sucked in a breath. “Even if I find them, without Ann, they won’t be safe for very long. The strain will only become stronger, developing on it’s own. It's already happening.”

“Okay.” He gulped, running his thumb over the note in his hands before shoving it into his pocket. "Kate didn't take a car so they couldn't have gone too far out." The anticipation in the air was enough for Gibbs to realise the entire room was hanging off his every word. And as soon as he begun to bark his orders, everyone scrambled to pack bags, load guns, and follow in line as they always have done. “We’ll take two cars, and we’ll stay close. They are on foot, so let’s hope we find them by tonight. We travel together, and we travel smart. I’m not losing anyone else.”

The team geared up, and Suzanne noted how they followed his every command, similar to a pack of wolves following the alpha. Once they were ready, they looked to him expectantly, coats on, guns in hand, bags thrown over shoulders.

“What now?” Ziva blinked, her thumb looped through the strap on her shoulder.

“We leave. Maybe forever. It’s not safe with the back entrance open to anyone like that, and the generators are drained, there’s nothing left for us here now. We find Kate, and Annalise, and we survive.”

“Gibbs?” Abby’s voice broke, confusion showing itself in her frown, "leave NCIS?"

“Sometimes, Abby, you have to make sacrifices to keep the people you care for safe.” He clutched onto his gun, rising it, and walking through the group to stand at the front. He lead them out of the lab, up the stairs, and to the broken shutters Kate and Annalise had exited from.

“Now,” he paused, twisting round to look at the sea of faces, noticing a fair mixture of hope, fear, and determination. “Now we find my daughter.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Hopeless Light**

* * *

The dull sound of the rain diving into the river was dominant in the air. Followed closely by chirping birds, so blissfully unaware of the ever falling population beneath their wide spread wings.

The silver blade slashed effortlessly through the thick leaves, in which a relatively short, golden haired woman emerged from beyond the trees, and stood; overlooking the river. Her right arm readied with a machete, the other curled in front of her, hooked under the bottom of an infant, secured close to her chest with fading material.

Using the back of her right hand, she pushed away wisps of blonde hair that had escaped from the braid of golden locks and stuck easily to the beads of sweat on her forehead in the humidity. Once scoping the area, she relaxed only slightly, and peered her bright green eyes down to the infant on her chest who was becoming increasingly restless.

"I know." She took a deep breath, stroking her index finger over the space between the small boys eyes, and down his nose. "I know you're hungry, Noah. Just a few more minutes and mummy will give you some food, okay?" A chubby hand gently thudded against her chin, as something in her soft tone comforted him, and his face softened.

A dull hum of voices alerted her, and she tightened her grip around Noah as he gurgled, and she scouted for danger. Staying out of sight, she watched a woman and a child walk by, stopping by the river.

* * *

It was still raining, but slightly now, and the rain was trickling and creating patterns on the river. Annalise had barely spoken to Kate, and walked at least four steps in front, which was the apocalypse equivalent to storming up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door.

Glancing toward Annalise, Kate sighed, watching her squat down, and run her fingers through the water. "We need to change your bandage soon." She spoke softly, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, well, an actual doctor could have done that from where we just came from, but noooo-"

"Annalise Abigail Todd!"

"Technically, it's Annalise Gibbs, but that doesn't matter to you either."

Her words stung, especially at the mention of Gibbs, and the reminder that she is, indeed, his, but she pushed it aside. "Watch your tone with me, young lady." Kate warned.

Annalise merely rolled her eyes, and fell back harshly onto her butt, sitting down and digging her heels down into the mud.

Sighing again, Kate crouched, retrieving a small, hand towel from her backpack. She scooped some water up in her hands and rinsed her face with it, wiping away the grime that had built up over the last few days: dirt, dried blood, hers, and the undead.

"Hey, little guy."

Kate's head snapped up upon hearing Annalise's coo. Looking toward her, she saw a little frog sitting in the palm of Annalise's hand.

"Look, mom, this little guy jumped on my shoe." Annalise stood, a little sloppily, only using one hand to push herself from the floor. "Oh, he's missing a foot." She frowned.

Kate wore a small smile, her head tilted. "Did you know that some species of frog grow what they need." Annalise looked confused, her eyebrows raised at her mother's sudden, odd comment. Kate further explained, "if they lose a limb they can grow it back. So I think he'll be fine."

Annalise was still unsure as to where her mother's sudden frog trivia had stemmed from, but she smiled, and shrugged.

"Listen, we had to leave. I know you're pissed at me, but I have to keep you safe okay?"

Annalise shrugged again, "I know. I just really liked him." She placed the frog back on the ground and watched it scramble away.

"I know, honey. Me too." Kate took a deep breath, pushing away any emotions that were slowly rising to to spill out. "But remember what I said when all of this started?"

"Me and You. Always. No one else." Annalise spoke from memory, her words sounding almost rehearsed.

"That's right." She forced a reassuring smile, pulling her in for a hug. "It's just you and me now. We'll be okay."

"Okay-" Annalise pulled from the hug, and held Kate's bag open, for her to shove the towel back into it. "Where are we going now?"

Kate folded her arms across her chest, looking out across the river, her face softening as she noticed something in the distance. She pointed toward the motor cruiser she spotted, a smile slowly spreading across her face.

"There."

* * *

Kate tightened knot in the rope, tugging on it a couple of times to test its strength. She brushed off her hands, satisfied with her handywork. "This should be a safe place for tonight, at least. It'll keep us out of the rain too."

Kate climbed onto it, before turning and holding her hand out to Annalise to help her climb up.

"Stay here, you're my look out, I'm going to open this door and clear inside."

Annalise nodded firmly, turning her back to Kate and looking out onto the land for any signs of danger.

Kate pounded her fist a couple of times on the door, knowing that the sound would attract any unwanted visitors. Soon enough, a roamer from the inside started clawing to get to her. Swiftly, and carefully, she slid the door open only a little, and drove her knife through the skull. Stepping over it, she cleared the rest of the inside.

It was small: a limited kitchen space, a diner-like table with cushioned seats either side, a small couch to fill the empty space around the edges, and through a brown, sliding door, there was a bed big enough for two. Sliding her knife through her belt, she returned to Annalise.

"Hey, get the feet." Kate told her, grabbing the top half of the roamer she had killed, they both lifted, and threw it over the side of the boat.

"Does this thing run?" Annalise grinned, "Would be pretty cool if it did."

Kate slipped a small bottle of hand sanitizer from her pocket, and flipped the lid, squeezing some into Annalise's and her own. "I hope so, it's safer out here."

Kate easily climbed the ladder to the flybridge, switching on the engine. It whirred and crackled, and didn't quite kick into motion. Kate switched it off again, and hopped back down, leaning over the edge. "Could be dirt. Will you be okay if I go in?"

"In… There?" Annalise pulled a face, looking at the murky water.

"Yes," she shrugged off her backpack and dropped it to the floor. "It sounds like something is stuck, I'm just going to have a look, I won't be long. It's most likely mud."

"Okay…"

"Be safe. Watch your back."

"I will."

Kate sat on the edge of the boat, swinging her legs over the side and lowering herself into the water. The cool water was a sudden shock to her body, but once her shoulders were under, and then her head, it gradually became used to the cold.

She swam toward the back of the boat, in search of the propeller, expecting nothing more than to find dirt, and weeds lodged into it. Swimming around, she saw a blurred image of a hand, tearing from the arm, only just connected to a roamer that she hadn't noticed until it grabbed her leg, and tugged her deeper into the water.

She screamed into the water, trying to kick free from the wrinkled, slightly yellowed roamer as it pulled her in and bit down into her boot.

The air bubbles on top of the water alerted Annalise, who had been watching from over the edge of the boat, but lost Kate amongst the gloomy water as soon as she had entered it.

* * *

Still observing the scene from amongst the trees, the golden haired woman became increasingly alarmed. She had witnessed Kate go into the water over two minutes ago. Fearing the worst, she darted from her cover, her arm tightened around Noah strapped to her chest, her grip firm on the machete as she sprinted for the motor cruiser.

Annalise was leaning over the side, calling for Kate. Upon hearing footsteps behind her, she swung round, knife readied.

"Easy!" The blonde shielded Noah with her arm, and held her other up, showing surrender.

Annalise frowned, her face softening when she heard the infant babble, still, she didn't lower her knife.

She looked from Annalise, and the knife, before speaking. "I'm Lizzie. This is Noah. I saw what happened, the woman you were with-"

"My mom." Annalise spoke softly, shifting her eyes to the side. "I have to help her."

"I can help her." Lizzie lowered her machete onto the seat nearby, and unstrapped Noah from her chest.

"I don't know you."

"True." Lizzie spoke, kissing Noah's forehead. "But your mom is in danger. I trust you with Noah." She seated him beside Annalise to emphasise her point. "You trust me with your mum?" Lizzie was desperate now, and waited for the nod of Annalise's head before diving into the dull water, in search of Kate.

In shock, Annalise stood numb. Until Noah began to stir, then cry, which filled her with alert signals. She instantly crouched beside where he sat, and held onto his chubby hands. "Hey, hey! You're okay, you're okay, please stop crying."

She darted her head, hearing a growling, and a swaying figure emerging from the right corner of the boat. She scooped up Noah, and scurried into the cabin, past the lounge, kitchen, and through the brown sliding doors into the bedroom. She heard a thump, no doubt the roamer falling onto the deck, and placed Noah on the floor, rummaging through her backpack and giving him her beloved stuffed giraffe to keep him occupied. She shut the door, knife at the ready, creeping out of the cabin, and onto the deck, in search of the roamer she was sure she'd heard.

Dumbfounded, she saw nothing. Her muscles slackened from their usual, tense stance, and she peered across as Lizzie pulled Kate from the water, and onto the muddy bank where Annalise had recently held the baby frog.

"Mom!" She called, relieved. She began her journey toward her but stopped before hopping from the boat, remembering her newfound responsibilities of taking care of Noah. Instead, she watched helplessly, chewing on her lip with the common feeling of anxiety bubbling in her chest.

She hurried back toward Noah, scooping him up in her arms, and making a run and jump from the boat. She tumbled on her way down, rolling on her back and protecting Noah from the fall. Upon rolling over, she screamed, as a roamer throw itself onto her. She protected a crying Noah with one hand, bent her knees to her chest, using her feet on the roamers abdomen as an attempt to push it away.

Before Ann could comprehend what was happening, blood sprayed across her face, the NCIS hoodie she was still wearing and the stuffed giraffe Noah was still clutching onto. The roamer was had slumped across her, with a knife driven through it's neck, which didn't succeed in stopping the beast, and one through the back of it's skull, and shooting straight out of it's eye. The knife has been thrown by Lizzie, who was now bundling Noah into her arms, and helping Ann off of the floor.

"My mom, is she okay?" Annalise gasped.

"She'll be fine, she just needs to catch her breath."

Once again, snarls, and rustling trees were heard from the surrounding areas of the boat. Grabbing Annalise's arm, Lizzie pulled her closer, urging Ann to lead the way to Kate, with her following. They reached Kate, with Ann's knees sinking into the mud as she clung to her, and sobbed lightly, not caring about the mud, and damp seeping through her clothes.

"Shh, it's okay now." Kate whispered into her hair, and placed a comforting kiss to her forehead.

They both introduced themselves, and although still Skeptical, Kate agreed that Lizzie and Noah can continue their journey alongside her and Annalise. Considering Lizzie had just saved Kate's life, and had a young child, it was the least she could do.

It wasn't long before more roamers than were safe to handle emerged from amongst the trees, the noise of the commotion that occurred only moments before had drawn them closer. With an arm wrapped around Annalise, Lizzie clutching Noah to her chest, the rushed away from the scene behind them, in hope of finding a safe place to stay before the sun would begin to set in a few hours.

Noah peered over Lizzie's shoulder, his eyes glued not the monsters from nightmares, but to the blood covered, damp, muddy stuffed giraffe that lay on the bank.

* * *

Gibbs' large, black boot, rippled the small puddle, splashing upon the fallen, copper coloured leaves.

Having abandoned their cars, finding that with Kate and Ann on foot, they would most likely have avoided open areas where it would be more difficult to protect themselves, they turned to trudging through ghost towns, and scouting just about every run-down grocery store they came across.

Naturally, Gibbs lead and Suzanne joined him at the front, with the team following behind in an un-discussed formation.

"So, your wife, is she a marine?" Gibbs tried at making a conversation, even the silence of the usual busy city was too much for him.

"Biochemist, actually, and the smartest in her field, I must say." Suzanne replied with a grin. "She started young, too, the youngest the lab had ever seen, but she didn't let that stop her. She's got balls, I'll tell you that much, she wasn't afraid to fight her way through to the top. You know the type, bossy, doesn't take no for an answer, questions everything imaginable..." Suzanne sighed, remembering her wife, and the memories they'd shared together.

"Oh yeah, " Gibbs' lips formed into a smile that soon turned melancholy, "I know the type."

"So, Ann's your daughter. And Kate? Is she your wife?" Suzanne curiously questioned.

Gibbs' movements became static, and with a clenched jaw, he replied, "no," and marched ahead.

"A man of many words, huh?" She muttered to Tim, watching Gibbs wander.

"A functional-mute, especially when it has anything to do with Kate."

She chewed on her upper lip. "Something went on?"

Tim frowned, "I don't really know."

Gibbs rose his arm, signalling for the group to stop. The muttering between them died down, and they followed his fixed gaze to the abandoned stuffed giraffe, bobbing against water.

With trembling hands, he picked it from the water, and brushed the crumbs of dirt from it's soiled, faux fur. A ringing in his ears over powered the team's questioning mumbles. He saw blurry shapes of black as his eyes became vacant, washed with numbness and a drained heart. He zoned back in slowly, and then all at once, with a sharp tone piercing through.

"Boss?" Tony spoke.

Gibbs turned, his eyes still empty, peering around the group of hopeful faces, all looking to him for guidance. His attention turned back to the stuffed animal in his hand, his mouth agape, his chest heaving.

"Jethro… She could have dropped the thing." Ducky spoke logically.

Gibbs simply shot him a look. "We're on the hunt for a missing girl and we find her beloved stuffed animal, blood covering it, by a river. Those aren't good odds, and that was before the apocalypse."

"Boss, come on-"

"I'm not your boss. Not anymore." He muttered through a dry, croaky throat.

"But, Gibbs-" Abby came forward, but he stopped her with a stern glare.

"No, Abby! I'm not your leader anymore, none of you! You look to me and I don't know what to tell you, what do you want me to say? You want me to tell you everything's alright? Because I don't know that, I can't promise that this time." His eyes darted to hopeful faces, all staring at him for answers. "You think I asked for this? I've dealt with it. I've been your boss for so long maybe I didn't know how to be anything else." He shook his head, his voice lowering. "Not now."

Tony and Ziva exchanged equally worried looks, but he touched her hand in an attempt to silently comfort her, sensing her deep concern for their former boss, whom had become more so like a father than anything else.

He ran a hand through his hair, his lungs tightening with every breath. "I couldn't save them… I couldn't save her… again." He began mumbling to himself, crouching beside the already dead roamer, finding shreds of skin stuck between it's rotting teeth.

A snarl from behind alerted the team, and they all readied their guns. However, Gibbs was too fast, and before they knew it he was stumbling toward a tree, forcefully smashing the roamers head onto the tree over, and over, before letting it drop to the floor.

His face was as red as the blood now staining his hands. Slumping against another nearby tree, he slid to the ground, his head hanging loose as he stared at the ground.

"Jethro?" Ducky approached him cautiously. "I know what you must be feeling."

"No, you don't." He muttered.

"I know you care dearly for Caitlin, and for that sweet girl, who is your daughter. And I know that you haven't fully come to process the latter. You know Jethro, the time they were here, I'd never seen you happier in all my years of knowing you."

His head throbbed. Annalise's freckled grin, the taste of Kate's lips, colourful bruises of memories which flickered through his mind, vivid, and constant.

Suzanne rose her rifle, the sudden siren that wailed through the air startling her, and the rest of the team, who in turn, raised their weapons; ready to fight.

The high-pitched wail threw Gibbs from his vacant nightmare, but still, he made no effort to spill quick thought-out orders, or anything that resembled somewhat of a plan.

Ducky landed his hand on Gibbs' shoulder. "Jethro. We must move. The siren will attract dozens of the things."

Gibbs stood slowly. The team looked toward him, awaiting orders that never came. Instead, Suzanne cleared her throat, nodded, and soon they were following her, fast on their feet, with Gibbs wandering behind, grabbing the bloodied giraffe and grasping it as he walked.

They made the smart decision to move away from the siren, and as fast as possible. With roamers attracted to the sudden noise, toward it wouldn't have been the safest option. Instead, they moved east, all whilst unaware of their main objective now that the newly found evidence points to the worst case scenario for Kate and Annalise. Suzanne, who was now leading, began searching for a place to set up camp, somewhere that looked relatively safe, where they could all get some decent rest; where Gibbs wasn't a danger to himself.

After hours of trekking, painful conversations, and taking tedious precautions as to not become a walking buffet for roamers that had grouped in the once busy, elbow bumping city streets, they approached a large warehouse. It was enclosed by half a wall, and half a metal fence, closed off with heavy, metal doors chained together, finished with barbed wire around the top.

"Looks secure." Tony observed, grabbing the chain and shaking it a little, the gates barely moving as he did.

"Question is, how do we get over?" Ziva enquired, narrowing her eyes, and inspecting the barbed wire.

"I think I have some bolt cutters in my bag, they could probably cut through this." Tim stated, and began removing his bag from his shoulders.

"No." Spoke Suzanne. "Then it wouldn't be secure. If we're lucky there's no one in here, dead, or alive." She scanned the outer walls again. "We cut that chain, and it's not safe anymore."

Ziva hopped up onto the wall, grabbing the top of the metal fence, under the barbed wire, she peeked through. "There's a warehouse, looks in pretty good condition. Two, maybe three roamers as far as I can see."

Gibbs perched on the wall. "If you got wire cutters, You could cut a hole in the wire, climb over. It'll be easy enough to secure again on the other side." He mumbled, only vacantly listening to their current dilemma.

Everyone exchanged looks, almost startled by his input. "Sure thing… Good idea boss-uh, Gibbs." Tim stumbled over his words, wincing slightly.

They dug through their backpacks, searching for the wire cutters they all swore they had seen somewhere, and yet failed to find.

Ziva shrugged off her leather jacket, throwing it over the barbed wire, and grabbing onto it with her hands, she tugged on it, and barely felt the barbs through the thick jacket.

"Ziva, be careful!" Abby scolded, looking on worriedly.

"No, it's okay." She brushed her hands off with an accomplished grin. "I think I found our way in."

* * *

They had climbed the wall, and entered the secured warehouse where they planned to stay over night, or maybe for a while, as a safe house to go back to. There were more roamers than expected, but stayed in formation and took them down carefully, and with ease.

The night drew in quickly, the air thick, and heavy, with a cool breeze sneaking through the cracks in the old warehouse they'd sheltered in. Suzanne didn't sleep, she sat on the upper platform, near the thin, smeared window, that rattled every time the wind blew. Tony and Ziva huddled together, her head on his shoulder as she slept. Abby, Tim and Ducky weren't far, Tim had already drifted to sleep with light snoring, and Abby was leaning into Ducky's comforting arm, staring into the darkness as she fought sleep, a gentle fear of the night buzzing within her.

Gibbs, however, lay a great distance from them all. He lay on his back, his arm under his head, staring up at the cobwebs on the dusty, metal roof, still leaking from the earlier afternoon's downpour.

Drip.

Drip.

The third drop fell straight into his eye, causing him to shoot into a sitting position immediately, and wipe it with the sleeve of his jacket. He stood, frustrated, brushed himself free of dust, and headed for the door.

"Gibbs." Came a whisper from Abby, her concern evident.

He gave her a nod, his silent way of letting her know that there was nothing to worry about.

Throughout the night, Gibbs wandered the streets. Outside the warehouse; outside the safety of the high, barbed wire walls. He didn't stray far, nor did it work to clear his mind. In fact, every roamer he passed sparked violent anger which lead to smashing their brains in, in very different, almost creative ways. He had his knife, sure, he never went anywhere without it, but a clean kill didn't seem satisfying enough, it didn't seem _real._

* * *

Gibbs didn't sleep that night. He wandered so long that soon enough the charcoal sky smoothed, and resembled a similar colour to Kate's cheeks after he'd kissed her in the bullpen; shades of soft peach, the faint stars that mimicked her freckles.

He climbed atop a burnt out truck, and stood on it's roof, expressionless. He searched across the skyline for anything to take away the pain that bubbled in his veins. An eerie calm settled over him, with nothing more than the autumn breeze streaming through the trees, and rustling the leaves together.

He is pulled from the moment of bliss, dragged violently back to reality with a loud, nearby explosion. With every beat of his heart, his lungs became tighter, and his legs gave way as he scrambled closer to where he could see the smoke and fire spewing into the sky from the building he'd left the previous night.

He tumbled to the ground, scraping his arm across the gravel and tearing his jacket in the process. He didn't care, he just kept running, his body moving faster than his mind, as he rushed toward the danger, to where the majority of his family now lay, trapped, and injured.


End file.
